I’m a 19 years old in my final year in school. I finally got a boyfriend a few months ago and I found out that I’m pregnant. The first few weeks were hell, the morning sickness, I was turning darker and breaking out and the whole first trimester issue. I was already getting emotionally attached to my baby, which I know is not normal. Before I found out I was pregnant, I caught my boyfriend or ex cheating and we had a lot of back and forth, him begging, getting tired of begging and blocking me eventually. I found out after the whole no contact. I took full responsibility and I had a D and C. It was painful. I was sedated but I was fully aware of the whole thing. I cried so much but the nurse only pinned me harder to the bed while the doctor did his thing. Before I went for the abortion, I tried inducing my own miscarriage and I experienced little bleeding at several occasions but scan showed the baby was intact, in fact 8 weeks.
The doctor was so rude to me and told me to stop pretending like it’s my first time, that it’s not even that painful and all. I told him it’s my first time and he called me a liar and said he saw signs that it’s not my first pregnancy and I’m confused because I’ve never been pregnant nor had an abortion. I got home to make research and it says bleeding or miscarriage can be mistaken as false pregnancy. Maybe that’s why he thought I was pregnant before, I don’t know. Now I’m baby free, depressed and I’ve been having flashbacks from the whole procedure, fighting the urge not to swear for that boy. It’s my fault. I should have abstained.
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