I have come to a realization: I’m not as strong as I thought I was. From the beginning, I knew I wasn’t strong. I’ve been betrayed and hurt. The last time I truly felt at peace and experienced real joy was in 2022. Since then, from 2022 to 2024, my life has been a rollercoaster of emotions—laughing in the morning and crying in the evening. Many people perceive me as a tough and serious girl, someone who is very strong. But what they don’t know is that I’m actually weak.
I try to project strength to avoid being taken advantage of, tortured, or manipulated. I’m afraid to show people that I care because I fear they’ll use my feelings against me. This mindset has made me view people as potentially bad and caused me to lose relationships. However, I genuinely want to change. I want to let go of my trauma, release the fear within me, and behold a new me.
My past experiences have left emotional scars, causing me to withdraw from connecting with others. I’m no longer the affectionate, caring, and sweet person I once was. Fear of being hurt again has made me hesitant to reach out, call, or text people. I’m afraid of being perceived as overly attached. I really want to change. This isn’t me. I know this is not me. I wasn’t like this at allllllllll 💔💔.
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