Hello, I am 25 years old and a mother of one. My relationship with my baby dad has been complicated. I can’t call him my husband even though we did an engagement (nikkah). They said they can’t do a naming ceremony without nikkah; I don’t know how true that is. Our relationship was perfect before, but when I got pregnant, a lot changed. He started cheating, even doing it to my face, and telling girls I was just his baby mama that forced the pregnancy on him. Mind you, I wasn’t the one who asked him to have the baby because I wasn’t ready. Each time I complained, he would deny it because I wasn’t with him but with his mum. A lady was posting about him on TikTok, and he kept denying it. I didn’t care; my plan was to give birth and leave him. When I gave birth and raised the issue, I disagreed and told everyone what he had been doing, but in this country, men are believed to be polygamous in nature. We did the naming ceremony, and I went back to school with my child. We only see each other during holidays. When we traveled to see him, he was still cheating and continued denying it in girls’ DMs. If I said anything, he threatened to break up. If I told my family, he would deny and make everyone see me as a bad person because he ensures I don’t lack anything, so everyone thinks I’m okay, but deep down I’m hurting. Each time he stopped talking to me and I decided to move on, he would come and beg again, act right, then after a month, change again. I just want to be loved, nothing more. Even if he called, he only talks to the child. It’s as if I am just a baby mama, but he doesn’t let me go. Each time I express how I feel and try to fix things, he gets angry that I am jealous and always thinking he is with a girl. We don’t live together. Recently, we had a fight, and he said he wanted to end things because both families are tired of settling fights every day. I informed them, and they said we could do what we wanted, but he denied it. Everyone started saying I was not calm. I stopped calling my family and texting him. After some days, he begged again, and I agreed, but he is still the same. Am I overreacting, or am I traumatized? Maybe we both need a therapist.
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