Guyysss, I think something is wrong with me ooo. Okay, let me start from the beginning. I’m not loved at home, my family is separated and chaotic, and during school days I used to tolerate all kinds of shit from men, so I saw shege pro max in every relationship and because of financial problems, I always endured. Now I have graduated gotten a good paying job and own an online business so I earn roughly N300 to N500k monthly. Now my problem is I can’t love anymore, I have this bad character that I see men like trash, every time a man comes to me I become so negative towards them and make jest of them even if they are rich and cute.
Like, I can’t just let my guard down, I am so defensive and fight with everyone who’s not even fighting with me. Two months ago, a sweet Anambra man came my way, he is quite well-to-do and very handsome, my complete spec. But guyssss I have spoilt it again, I kept talking down on this man, I kept saying negative things to him, I kept talking about how I was not interested in him or his money but deep down I have fallen in love. This man endured me for 2 months and on our first meeting, I kept telling him how I regretted coming out of my house, how I didn’t like the lounge even when I was the one who picked it, he wanted to kiss me and I pushed him away and told him that he has not asked me to be his girlfriend or anything so we are not dating.
He ordered a bolt for me and when I reached home I realized I had been blocked everywhere. I cried for a week, I bought a new sim and sent him a long message about how much I love him and how I am so sorry. He read the message and blocked me. What is seriously wrong with me, please? I feel I need therapy but how do I go about it? Please how do I change my behavior and behave like the normal young beautiful girl that I am?