I honestly don’t even know how to put this nor explain myself, neither have I ever imagined myself doing this. I miss my ex. I don’t even know where to start from or how to explain, so please, anyhow I put it, understand that I’m so so confused and lost as I write all of these. So it all happened like this: I called off things with her sometime in 2023, reason being that she was nonchalant in so many ways. It sometimes seemed like we weren’t in a relationship — no calls, no morning texts, no heads-up about a busy day or whatsoever, etc. I complained multiple times, yet no changes. In her words, “she’s always busy either at school or at home,” and trust me, I’ve seen/experienced when a lady is in love and how a lady acts when she’s in love as well, so I didn’t know why hers was different. After multiple complaints and no changes were made, I called things off because I was scared of being heartbroken. After the breakup and all, we were still close to some extent. We vibed to some extent, met a couple of times, made out and all. She told me a couple of times that she loves me and wanted us back.
Fast forward to this recent moment: she’s been done from school for a while now and she’s back home, yet it even feels like she got worse with the nonchalant thingy but still claims she loves me. She doesn’t text at all unless I do. Recently we didn’t get to talk for like a month, and deep down it’s because I didn’t do my regular check-up as usual. In this 1 month we didn’t speak, I travelled to 2 countries without her even knowing. I was seriously ill without her even knowing as well. We got to speak last 2 weeks and that was because of her induction, which I just congratulated her and gifted her. Ever since then, back to the normal no texts or calls routine. I’m genuinely tired, sad, heartbroken because I love her so so so much. Tried to move on, it’s not just working. Whenever I see her pictures, videos, or something related to her, I start feeling some way unexplainable. Please, how can I stop loving someone? I’m beginning to feel like a simp for her and I dislike it so so bad. I can’t even joke with anything related to her. I’d be so upright if it has something to do with her. Please I need help, my people (I miss and love you so so much).
Also read: Love Really Hurts