I was a virgin for 23 years before I met my ex. I was naive, but I had told him I wanted to wait till marriage. Six months into the relationship, he started wanting sex. I didn’t want to lose him, so I obliged. Years later, he ended up dumping me, even after the really traumatic abortion and marriage promises. Moving on, most guys I meet are mostly interested in sex or immediately categorize me as a “chop and clean mouth” because I’m curvy and beautiful. I don’t know how to have sex if I don’t have an emotional connection to you, so it’s rare for me to be sexually attracted to someone unless we build a solid connection. So abstinence wasn’t hard. I was abstinent for two years since 2023, guys. No kiss sef—I forgot what it felt like. Then I met someone I really liked. I dunno, I was just so comfortable in his presence. Days into knowing him, I slept with him because I wanted to. Long story short, he started talking about love and stuff I didn’t ask from him. He led me to believe he was in love with me—only to ghost me after having sex that one time.
He sold me a dream. He turned out to be the most ev!| person ever. The relationship lasted only a month, and please be aware, I thought it was love. I never billed him. Instead, I was buying him gifts. I only asked for money after we had sex like a few times. The whole thing made me sick. He was eating me out like no man’s business. I went through his phone and found out he had kids and was seeing other women, lying to me. I confronted him—no remorse, nothing, no acknowledgement. I broke up. I ended up getting pregnant, and he blocked me and just left me there. He didn’t even wait to confirm if I was really pregnant. I cried so much, and when I went back to read my Bible, I saw that God’s commandment is to protect us, not to restrict us. If I didn’t have sex, I wouldn’t feel so used. I h&te the men in this generation. All I’ve ever wanted was love, and that in itself is dead in me. I can’t give it anymore, even though my soul yearns for it. I can’t even muster the strength to keep a conversation with a man past one day.
Also Read: Leaving a Toxic Relationship is Hard