So I have been dating my boyfriend for five years now, and we’ve both had our good and bad days. He is the eldest among four boys and also is more financially buoyant and the pillar of the family. I know for a fact that my boyfriend is a family-oriented person, which is good. For the five years I’ve been dating my boyfriend, 85% of the time I am at his house, I do not have privacy because he stays with his immediate younger brother and also his cousin. I can’t walk around the house naked; I have to be properly dressed, and there’s no time for us to do anything intimate around the house because the house is always occupied, so I mind the things I do in the house. We had a conversation recently about getting married, and I told him that if we wanted to get married now, I wouldn’t want to stay in the same house with his brothers.
Mind you, the younger brother just rented his own two-bedroom apartment, so he’s staying alone for now. I told him we’ve been together for five years, and I don’t have my privacy, so after marriage, I want that for myself. I wouldn’t want to stay with anybody at least for the first six months to one year of the marriage. Your other brothers can go to your other brother’s house because now he lives alone. We can’t have three people staying with us as a married couple while your brother is staying in a two-bedroom flat alone. After saying all this, he said he couldn’t tell his brothers to go stay with his immediate younger brother. I’m like, why? He stays alone, and we need our privacy. Married couples need their privacy, and he’s like I’m trying to create a rift between the family, him and his brothers.
I tried explaining that that’s not it. I love your brothers, and I even communicate more with his family than he does with mine. I call, text, visit, and the rest. He made it seem like I didn’t want him to support his brothers. I will never ask him not to support his brothers. I am just asking for space, and we also talked about visitors coming. I’m like, I don’t have a problem with your friends coming over, but as a newly married couple for the first six months or one year, I believe everybody knows we just got married, and we need space. He said it’s a dealbreaker for him, and for me too. I don’t think I can cope with it. I want to know if I’m being inconsiderate or if I said something wrong.
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