I Have Lost My Spark In An Unfaithful Relationship

Please my Rantz family I need help. I’m slowly losing my mind. I’ve been dating this guy for over a year now. We had issues on January this year because I went through his phone and saw messages of him cheating on me with multiple girls. We separated for months and got back together last month. I went through his phone again and found out he never changed like he promised me. The one that broke my heart was the message I saw. He took me to club and I made a video while touching his butt, he asked me to send the video to him that it’s cute and he wanted to post it. He posted it and one of his girlfriends saw the status and asked who was touching him. He said I was his sister, that I’m still in his house sef. Meanwhile, the next morning, I was helping him tidy up the house because everywhere was messy. I never knew this guy was in my presence denying me. When I confronted him, he beat me up for going through his phone, gave me a heavy slap on my right ear that still hurts till now, broke my phone screen and almost threw me out of his house half naked in the middle of the night. He even called the police on me but later told them not to come again. Yes, I’ve made up my mind to leave oo but it’s just that it hurts badly. I’ve been crying because I’m not a bad person. I loved this guy with all my heart. I gift him every time because that’s my love language. I like spoiling my man. Why do good girls always end up with bad men? I’ve lost my spark. I’m so numb rn. I don’t want to go crazy. You people should help me oo before I die. I don’t want to die.

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