I have been single for about 3 years. My ex cheated, disrespected, and humiliated me. I decided to take a break so that I could work on my shortcomings too. When I decided to start dating again, a couple of guys approached me, but I didn’t end up dating them. Before we complete our talking stage, I would have picked out plenty of flaws that will make me decide not to date the person. This has gotten me thinking if there is an issue with me. Recently I met a guy. I used to have a spec and standards, and this guy looked nothing like my spec. He is only good character-wise, or so I thought. I let go of my standards and started growing feelings for him, which I think is the worst mistake I have ever made, or is it just me? First and foremost, he refused to ask me to be his girlfriend.
I don’t know if he wants me to ask him because he once made mention of that. He said he wanted us to be friends but still kissed me. Today he will say, “You will be my wife,” tomorrow he is praying for me to meet my future husband. Secondly, he has given me gifts only for my birthdays, but they are never thoughtful. Just like “make e no be like say I no give this girl anything”. I am the kind of person that the moment you mention, “I need this,” I start working towards getting it for you. I just feel like anyone I am with, I have to be able to make their life easier. I don’t ask for things. I have learned that no one owes me. I take care of myself perfectly well. But there are days when you need a little help. The first time I asked him to lend me 2000 naira, I didn’t even need it for myself.
A friend called me saying she was stuck somewhere, and I was dry broke at the moment. He shouted at me like I demanded money daily. This is someone I lend money to frequently; in fact, the only time he is nice to me is when he wants to borrow money. I can go on and on without stopping. To be honest, I wanted us to work badly, even though my friends would laugh at me when they saw him. But I can’t just ignore some basic things. At the same time, I am thinking if I am the problem. Why am I seeing so many flaws in guys? What if he is simply shy to ask me to be his girlfriend? Or does he feel he is broke to be with me? What if I am giving him so much pressure? I am just so tired. Love is too hard. I am thinking of locking my heart and throwing away the key. Not everyone is meant to find love.