I have a best friend. Her name is Jasmine. Jasmine learnt a skill on time. She came from a supportive family — this kind of family that works together to uplift themselves — while me, I came from a totally opposite family. I started taking care of myself really early in life, worked hard and trained myself in school. Currently, I’m in 300L with Jasmine. We’ve been friends since year 1. We do have our differences, but we always sort it out. Jasmine is the outspoken type, doesn’t tolerate rubbish from anyone. I’m a very soft one that doesn’t like issues, so we make a perfect match. Now Jasmine is doing so well for herself with her skill — a good furnished apartment, a car, and good money saved — all gotten from her skill. But trust me, she deserves it all because she’s so hardworking. On the other hand, I have a small business that’s barely taking care of my bills. Please don’t get a misconception from my story. I love my friend, I’m proud of her, but I can’t help this feeling that I’m backward. I feel so horrible I can’t afford the things she can.
Most times we cancel our dates because I can’t meet up with my own part of the money, and it hurts like hell. I feel so uncomfortable in her house because she talks about her achievements a lot. It’s not bragging, she’s just happy and she deserves it all. But I feel so backward. I don’t know what to do or how to do it. I can’t even afford to learn a good skill. I know most of you will say, “Why can’t you learn her skill?” Well, understanding our kind of friendship, issues may come — especially with the way her family is (long story) — and also, it’s a skill I have zero interest in. Sometimes I want to just leave her house and go home, so I don’t feel so pressured and unhappy. I can’t tell my friend to stop talking about her achievements because she deserves it and worked for it so hard. How do I stop feeling like a loser or that I’m backward? My heart is too heavy. I’m scared of failing so much.
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