I’m a well-educated, beautiful, slim lady in my late 20s. I have quite a good job and a business that I run on the side. My biggest insecurity is my body. I have never told anyone about this because I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I wear pads sometimes to fit into certain clothes. At least that makes people have a different image of me in their heads. I do not have any intention of getting surgery done, and I will never do it. I’m more than willing to do whatever it takes naturally to gain healthy weight; I just don’t know what to do.
I have a nice facial structure—a pretty one, in fact. I have fair, natural skin, and I’m smart, very outspoken, with an outstanding personality. But my body shape sometimes takes me on a whirlwind of regrets. (How I wish…) It’s not like it’s bad. I mean, I’ve been in a relationship with someone who didn’t mind. He complimented me every time. Our sex life was great, and sometimes he would tell me he liked how easy it was to switch me to any preferred position. But my insecurities got the better of that relationship.
I kept thinking, “What if he wants more later on? What if I’m not enough?” I’ve had several other suitors, but I kept holding myself back, afraid I’d get my heart shattered later on. I kept questioning myself every time. Sometimes I’d cry, wipe it off, and move on. But I just wish I could add on some weight, even if it’s just a little—not just for a man, but for myself, too. You might want to call it “low self-esteem.” Maybe, maybe not.
I love myself, but I just wish there was something I could do for me. When you’re praying for the right partner in life, let them meet the right you in every aspect. Though physical appearance is a plus, I can’t lie to myself—it’s a great PLUS. I’ve tried everything I know. There were changes, but once I stopped, the growth stopped too. It gives me sleepless nights, and it feels like a huge dark secret hovering over me. I would appreciate polite advice or suggestions. Thank you all.
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