Marrying my wife is one of the best things that has happened to me. We dated for over eight years (we started dating at a young age) before we got married, and all has been well. I’m a young man (not yet 30 years old), and I work really hard to ensure we have a comfortable life. By God’s grace, I’m doing well. Making money isn’t the hard part; staying rich is. Over time, I’ve realized I don’t function well under pressure or when my wife is unhappy. Anything that makes her unhappy affects my mood and energy. I’m generally less productive when there’s unrest in the house. If she has a mood swing or is unhappy, I feel it even without her saying a word. The aura in the house changes. While we were dating, I always told her that I couldn’t be productive without peace at home. I run a business and other ventures that require focus, planning, and a conducive environment.
Recently, we found out she’s pregnant, and I was initially very happy—I’m going to be a dad! But then the challenges began. I started getting random attitudes at home, and I’m expected to attribute it to hormonal changes. We could be all lovey-dovey one moment, and the next, she’s giving me attitude and making the house uncomfortable. Last night, I had to drive out at 1:49 a.m. to a nearby hotel just to sleep and work because she suddenly started giving me bad energy. I asked her politely what was wrong. She said, “Nothing.” I tried to butter her up—I pecked her, but she turned her face away and said she was fine, that she was only praying (she follows a Hallelujah Challenge online). To avoid distracting her, I left for the bedroom, but the tension in the house was unbearable. She came to bed later with an attitude, and when I asked again, she insisted nothing was wrong. She eventually asked me to massage her waist, which I did, but the attitude persisted.
I lost it and decided to leave. As I was about to leave, she asked me to stay, but I couldn’t take the inconsistency anymore. Here’s the thing: I don’t think I want to have a child with her. I feel this pregnancy will ruin my productivity. I’m not a very patient person (that’s my flaw), but I try my best for her. However, the tantrums might push me to my threshold. She started bleeding a few days ago, and the doctor suspects it might be a miscarriage. She’s hopeful, but I’m not. I feel guilty, but a part of me wishes the baby would go so things can return to normal. I don’t want a child if it will cost me my peace. She doesn’t work yet, but I’ve encouraged her to learn a tech skill as part of my plan to relocate her abroad. She wants to be a career woman, and I support that, but I don’t think I can handle the emotional strain of a child. I don’t know how to handle this. Please, advice.
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