My story is so long, eh, but I will cut it short. I met my boyfriend in school, and we’re of the same age (25). We used to share love and never hide things from each other. He’s so supportive, hardworking, and ambitious. The problem started when I got to know that he has a crush that turned him down before he met me. He always places this girl above me and always wishes I was like her. But then, I feel like it’s normal to still be like that because our relationship was like 4 months then. Fast forward to some months later, I met a friend of mine I used to know, we talked and all that.
I followed him home. Normally, my thoughts were never to have sex with him because no guy looks good in front of me than my boyfriend. Moreover, my boyfriend took my virginity at the age of 22, and he has only been the one I’ve been having sex with since then. But my stupidity took over me and made me trust my friend that he can’t do such. So yeah, my friend tried to force me, he was able to penetrate but later, he let me be because I didn’t allow him. Little did I know that I should have kept it from my bf. I told him everything because of my conscience.
My boyfriend started misbehaving and calling me names like a dog, mentioning and praising his crush that she can never do it, and insulting me since the day I told him about this. He even told some of his friends and mine about it. Meanwhile, he’s always busy flirting and wanking with different ladies’ pictures and videos. He asks ladies out and kisses some of them. He posts different ladies with different captions and made his circle know that he’s single. He will always apologize to me whenever I find all these things on his phone, and I forgive every time.
Any little misunderstanding, he would go back to this issue and insult me with it. I started having low self-esteem and started creating hatred for myself, which actually made me break up with him. I couldn’t concentrate in school, so I went home. Trust me, if at all you’re having any problem, just go home… go and meet your family. I forgot about my pain and regrets when I was home, and then my bf started begging me to come back to him. I knew I was the one that did something wrong, so I decided to forgive him and go back to him.
But then, I didn’t feel safe with him like I used to. Something was off. For God so good, after a week of trying to fix ourselves, then I got to know about one of his female friends that I’ve always complained about that they both went on a date. They went to a place that we’ve both been before to recreate memories with her, spent the night together, and he even posted some intimate videos they both took when I was complaining about the girl then. Now, we’ve broken up. It’s so hard for me to move on, but then I believe God will help me, and I know I’m the cause of our breakup.
My pain now is that my boyfriend still doesn’t want to date me. He calls me for sex and always tells me not to date another guy, but he’s not ready to date me. Should I beg him, or should I move on because I still do love him? Please, Rantandtalkz fam, I hate myself already for betraying him. I just want advice. I will be in the comments section.
Also Read: I Am Tired Of Being The Provider In My Relationship