Please, I’m in a dilemma and I need help. I started being so close to a male coursemate of mine, and this guy always brings up the idea of having sex even when he knows I’m in a relationship. I’m in a 2-year relationship with someone, but we don’t live in the same city due to my schooling. Because I hardly make friends in school, I just settled for my coursemate, and I was telling him all my secrets. I told him everything because he’s that type of guy that always has a solution to everything. This guy has a girlfriend and I know about her, but yet he’ll always want to have sex with me. I fall into temptation sometimes because my boyfriend has never come to see me in the school I am. I’ve begged him countless times to come see me, but he always refuses. I’m the one always going to see him where he’s based, not minding the classes and schoolwork I’ll be missing. I started to regret what I was doing with my coursemate, so I told him if he can’t be my friend without having sex with me, then we should rest, because I love my boyfriend and I can’t continue in this rubbish. He said okay and we moved on.
I stopped talking to him altogether to avoid any yeye talk whatsoever. Now my boyfriend has seen all our chat and he has deleted all my pictures and videos from his phone. He has told me that he doesn’t want me anymore. I don’t know what to do. I regret not speaking up for myself before now. I blocked the boy from all my social media accounts. I’m so ashamed of myself, knowing that my boyfriend doesn’t cheat on me, yet I went to cheat on him with someone not even close to his standard. I swear I only did it out of loneliness. There are times where my studies won’t allow me time to travel to see my boyfriend, and I’ll be so horny, especially on my ovulation. That’s when I’ll just fall victim to the guy. In fact, the reason I go to his house is because we hardly have light in my house, so I go to his house to charge, due to the fact that we stay on the same street. This my boyfriend is unforgiving and he’s able to forget if I ever existed. He has done it countless times in the past, so I doubt if he’ll forgive me. He’s not even replying my texts. I’ve done 3 abortions for him, yet he’s saying he’s sure he’s not the father because he read I and the other guy’s chat.
I’m so confused and destabilized. I was ready to focus on my boyfriend and just love him only, and that was why I told the guy to stay away from me. Now that my boyfriend has seen the texts, he’s claiming I’m only apologetic because he caught me. Please, Rantz fam, please help me. What do I do to get my boyfriend back? I can’t lose him, I swear. I’ve invested so much into this relationship. Note: I and the guy have only had sex 3 times since we started talking last year till now, because I don’t agree to his advances. Sometimes he even proceeds to forcing me to do it, but I couldn’t stop talking to him, because he’s the only friend I have in school. I don’t have any other friends because the ones I had before hurt me so much. I was so scared to stand up for myself until recently, because I was fed up with paying for the friendship with my body. Please help me. What do I do?
Also read: Don’t Make Friends Online! Lessons Learnt