My boyfriend and I have been together for three years, officially dating since October 2021. We were neighbors, and he used to handle basic household expenses like food and electricity bills. In December of the same year, while going out for groceries, I casually mentioned him paying to get my nails done. His response shocked me, as I had never asked him for anything before. I’m a student running a small business, and I stopped making money requests since that incident. On another occasion, I saw his brother asking him for data, and when I playfully asked for the same, he questioned if I wasn’t doing my business. From then on, he only contributes money for food or occasional expenses. Around December 25, he suggested a mini-vacation for Christmas, and we stayed in a nearby town for three days. When we returned, he handed me his phone to take upstairs, and I noticed a message alert, visible without opening it, as is possible on Android phones. I discovered his available balance was N700k during our vacation, leaving me confused about how he could have such.
As time progressed into February 2022, he started complaining about being broke, and I ended up taking care of all our expenses, from our house rent to daily needs. Despite my efforts, he seemed unconcerned that I was shouldering everything, and too comfortable. He is a yahoo boy. I was curious so I asked why he became so broke suddenly, besides he owned a car. He revealed that he received N7 million from clients in August 2021, spent N4 million on the car, and made other expenses. Shockingly, he hadn’t invested in any business. Realizing the gravity of the situation, I sublet my room to ease the financial burden. Things took a turn for the worse as he began borrowing money from me, ranging from N100k to N300k, without any intention of repayment. He became overly controlling too, he restricted my outings, and was super jealous. One of the craziest moment was when I shared my best birthday memory, involving a vacation with my ex. For that reason, he didn’t speak to me for a week, even though it was my birthday. The situation became w0rse.
As things continued to deteriorate financially, I insisted he sell his car. Reluctantly, he agreed, and upon my return from a holiday in Lagos during school vacation, I discovered he had sold it for N3.5 million. I proposed that he invest the money in my business or he should relocate to Lagos, where he could find opportunities. He began searching for a house after arriving in Lagos, he claimed to have only N500k when the chosen apartment cost N800k. I was so shocked that he had only N500k so I asked about the N3.5 million. He explained that he kept giving the money to his mother, showing me messages as proof. Finding out about this made me question our future, I was wondering whether he would be fit to handle our finances if we were to marry.Despite our plans, we didn’t invest in the business, and the relocation never happened. Frustrated, I suggested he consider driving for Uber in Lagos or participating in Lagos State’s car scheme.
Surprisingly, he returned to Awka after three days, claiming he came to bid farewell to friends. I didn’t know he was keeping tabs on me, while neglecting his responsibilities. Now, our rent will expire this month and I am prepared to leave for Lagos, but I still don’t know what to do. Each time I express my decision to end things, he cries and promises to change. However, his actions remain unchanged. I’m exhausted from carrying this burden and crave a life where I’m cared for rather than being the provider. What advice do you have for me? I’m done with school now and I know he will want to follow me to Lagos. Did I mention that the N500k which we were supposed to use for the house is still with me? he is owning me about N800k and I have his N500k. Should I give him back his money or collect it as part payment? Besides, how do I break up with him?
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