I’ll just go straight to the point. I’ve been with this guy going to a year now. He’s one of the most amazing guys I’ve met. He’s caring, generous, and at least good looking. He doesn’t stress me. He won’t let me lift a finger. He’ll always serve and take the plates too. I thought I met the one but there were some inconsistencies. We broke up about a million times and got back together because he has trust issues. Sometimes he’ll break up with me over irrelevant issues, or so he claims. He’ll never let me go no matter what; he will do anything to get us back. I even did one abortion for him. He wasn’t there for me when I needed him in those times. This guy is a mixture of sweet and sour. I loved the way he treated me. He spends on me too, though he can do more than that because he’s rich and comfortable, but I was okay. I didn’t want to be entitled. I thought love was enough. Recently, after so much pleading, I accepted him back thinking at least he’s not the cheating type, not knowing he was worse. He asked me to submit to him fully (anal sex), and I did, if that would get him to love me completely and take me seriously.
All those times we were not together, I never even let any man touch me. I was so used to him that I wouldn’t even entertain others. Guess what? He was traveling out, and I don’t know who sent me. Part of me regrets it; part of me is happy too. I created a fake account to test him. The saying that if he’s not available here, he’s available elsewhere is true. Just in less than 30 minutes, a girl he barely knows and doesn’t even know is real or not, he told her he’s single for six months, he’s generous, and wants to meet her. The crazy part was that was the same format he used for me. I couldn’t eat that day because he acts so sweet and gentlemanly. I could even say maybe he just wanted to sleep with her, but I noticed his energy shifted from me. He didn’t even check my message again but kept texting the other account. I realized I was just a placeholder. All this while, he was just playing with me. He was going to clubs with girls and hanging around with multiple of them, then calling after on video to prove he’s not with a girl. He tries so much to make sure I’m okay. He’s going to stop hanging with them if I’m not okay, blah blah.
I’m so hurt and confused. I cried nonstop yesterday. I couldn’t face this reality. He told me he wanted loyalty. I gave him all that, but why didn’t he like me but won’t let me go either? I had a couple of red flags but ignored them. Mind you, I’m not ugly. I’m very pretty and light-skinned, and I can get any man I want. I have a lot of guys in my DM willing to do anything, but I don’t let them because already I don’t trust men. I had a lot of bad experiences with men, and after what he did, I don’t know if I can ever trust any man again. I want to confront him, but he’s going to manipulate and gaslight me. I want him to get back. I’ll just send him screenshots and block him everywhere. I’m changing my SIM too. Am I overreacting or am I very confused? Because he’s so nice to me and spends most time with me too. He picks my calls anytime, anywhere.
Also read: I’m not Happy With My Life Financially