I’ve been in a relationship with Mr. A, who happens to live in the UK. He has been married before and has a son. His marriage to his ex did not last up to two years, and when I asked, he told me his ex was a cheat and was abusive. He also told me the lady was from a bad family. Our relationship was smooth; he has supported me academically and financially, and he even brought me closer to God. The only problem I have with him is that his insecurity is too much. He doesn’t believe anything I say or do. He wants me to tell him everything before I do it, saying it’s “accountability,” and I’ve been doing that. But whenever something comes up and I don’t tell him first, he gets irritated and starts to suspect me.
I understand that it’s due to past traumatic experiences, but it’s getting out of hand, and he always blames me, saying that I triggered him. I’ve done everything humanly possible to earn his trust. He’s not yet married to me, yet he won’t let me go out. He has a negative opinion about anything I do, and it’s so annoying. He’s the type of person who doesn’t have respect for women because he believes every lady who is comfortable or rich sleeps with different men to make money, and I h8te that mentality. One day, we were talking about his ex, and he bragged about how he “secured” his ex’s mom, which made me so angry. His insecurity is so extreme that when my brother had issues, he boldly told me not to get involved. How can I not care for my brother, who was in trouble?
He even stopped me from going out with my cousins and made me miss my cousin’s wedding. I became very worried when my cousin had an emergency surgery and was still unconscious. I was the only one left to take care of her, but this man insisted I abandon my cousin in the hospital simply because he’s insecure. I refused, and he sent his jobless friend to come and check if I was truly in the hospital and instructed his friend to take me home, whether I liked it or not. It was so embarrassing. I called my sister to complain, and she told me that this guy is not mentally stable and that I should run for my life. A lot of things have happened, and he has constantly disrespected me. He has never trusted me for one day, always making me explain myself like I’m a child.
So, my friend got to speak to his ex, and the woman said a lot of disappointing stuff that I figured could be true based on what he has told me. His ex said he was abusive and even beat her up when she was pregnant. This woman said so many things, and I don’t even know if she’s lying because she’s still hurt or if she’s telling the truth. One thing I figured is that this guy started talking to me even when his divorce was not yet finalized, and he was still living with his ex. He didn’t even take some time to heal. I don’t think he loves me; I think he is using me to show his ex that he has moved on. One time, I told God to make us have a heated argument if this guy is not for me, and the next morning we had a heated argument. I knew that was God telling me to run for my life, but I stayed. Now, I’m so confused… Should I leave or stay?
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