I have been seeing this man for two years and a while, and we always talk about kids and marriage. I was in love, and well, when I’m in love, I’d do anything for my partner. I don’t care—I’ll wait till things get better so long as you promise not to give up on us, and I won’t either. Well, things have been okay-ish for a while—breaking up and getting back together. Fast forward to July, I went to see him, and well, we made love. My Flo app told me I had high chances of conceiving that day, but I shrugged it off. I mean, I could just pee and wash off immediately, right? I’d done that for a while and had never gotten pregnant in my whole life. In August, I realized I was sleeping a lot, and my breasts became bigger. I jokingly told him, “I think I should get a PT test. This one I’m sleeping like this—hope I’m not pregnant.” Well, we jokingly got the test, and I used it the next morning.
To my surprise, it came out positive. Lmaoooooo. Okay, I said, no panicking, even though plenty of thoughts were going through my mind. What if this man denies it? I promise I wasn’t being promiscuous—it’s just not my thing, especially if you’re making me feel loved, included, and letting me know we’re a team working towards getting married. You get me? Still, I thought: What if he starts treating me with w**kedness, knowing that he can still do what he wants while I, being the pregnant one, can’t leave anymore? I mean, yes, I love him, and he says he loves me—I believe him—but what if the pregnancy changes him, you know, since it’s unexpected? Anyways, we went back and forth for a while, and I took a post-pill not knowing how long it had been since we conceived. I took a test the next day, and it was negative.
I’m like, Thank God o; please, my life couldn’t end like that. Lol, move to a week later—I was texting my friend, and somehow, I got curious. She’s had a child before, so I casually asked her if it’s possible for a pregnancy to disappear after testing positive. She said, No o, that it’s hiding. I mean, it sounds funny, right? I got another test that night and used it the next morning, and lo and behold, it was bold and positive. (Isn’t the Lord good?). I told my man, and he said I’d need to do a lab test to confirm before we made any decisions. I did, and it came out positive too. We said we’d see and talk about it to figure out our next line of action. At first, he said I could move in with him, but without any proper measures. As an Igbo babe, we have procedures. Days later, I brought it up again, and after another conversation,
he saw my point, and we agreed to work towards marriage. I decided to tell my mum because, since he wasn’t denying it, I thought I was safe enough to open up to her. I told her, and she was disappointed, yes, but afterwards, she was calm. Now the problem is, this man is rud£ to me and insults me—always making fun of my insecurities. He says things like, “Insecurity wan kee me” anytime I express my dislike for references he makes about certain things. Maybe I’m dramatic, but I don’t think it’s nice to rub people’s insecurities in their faces, especially if you know they’re sensitive about them. Yesterday, we had an issue that led to me talking rudely to him, and he said it was my late dad I was talking to. That made me mad, and I insulted his dad too. Then he said he’d make me suff£r for it since I didn’t have respect for him,
like I’m some sort of child. I think a lot of men walk around expecting respect but don’t want to earn it. You don’t talk to your woman in any type of way—it’s wrong, and I know it. Then he told me he wasn’t the father and that I should go look for the father, and then he blocked me everywhere. Lol, my earlier fear that he’d take advantage of my situation and treat me how he wants has come clear and vivid before my eyes. It’s against my faith to ab0rt a child, and I’ve never been pregnant before. I don’t know what complications might arise, and I’m so scared. What if I lose my life while at it? What will I tell God? Now, this isn’t me acting like a victim or seeking sympathy. I don’t have anyone else to share this with, and I just wanted to get it off my chest. It hurts so bad, yes, but if this is God’s will, then I know He has a plan.
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