Rantandtalkz fam, please help me. At this point, I don’t know what to think or do. Lately, I’ve been praying so much to God to bless me with my own person, so two weeks ago, I joined a dating app. A Muslim dating app because I’m a Muslim, so I met this guy. He’s 31 and said he’s ready to get married like ASAP without wasting time. I asked him if he had ever been married because I didn’t even believe that 31 he mentioned, so he said he was in a 6 to 7 years relationship with a girl, and they even did a civil wedding because they wanted to travel, but it didn’t later work out between them. So I asked if they had divorced in court, and he said the girl had not signed hers because of some money he put in her account that she didn’t want to return, so I said okay without asking further questions. So this person and I moved our conversation to WhatsApp, so we started doing video calls, and we introduced ourselves.
I told him what I do (I work for someone in a shop), a salesgirl, yeah. He said he didn’t like it and asked when we were seeing. He was serious about coming to see me; we don’t stay in the same state, so he said if he came and I like him, we’d kickstart our relationship, and he’ll come to see my mom on his next visit, then he’ll tell my mom he doesn’t like where I work and tell her his plans for me. Yes, he has good plans, but I feel like he’s rushing things. He even said he’s not interested in courting. Once I like him, he’ll help out with my NYSC and to be posted to his state, then I’ll camp for a week and return to his house because he doesn’t want stress for me, which is alright too. Then I’ll hop on PGD (I went to a polytechnic), then also register me for tech class. He has sweet plans, but can he calm down and let me do these things in Lagos where I stay? Then we use the opportunity to enjoy the relationship and even know ourselves more. In fact, I’ll let him know my mom. Also, he’s against my dressing. I don’t even reveal my body; I don’t party, I’m very cool. I even pray five times daily.
I’m not just the type to wear a qimar (long hijab). He’ll even send pics of hijab sisters to me, saying is this not beautiful? I even got angry when he sent it to me. I told him I don’t dress this way. It doesn’t mean I’m not a Muslim, plus he mentioned that when he marries me, I won’t wear normal jeans and polo again. I won’t wear wigs. I won’t add attachments to my hair, except wool. So I told him, what if I want to do a girls’ hangout and I want a simple dressing? He said any hangout should be just me and him. All these rules are too choking. Also, the first day we started talking, he asked about my view on polygamy. Ah! Note that all of these happened in just 5 days of knowing each other. This is really eating me up. I don’t want to call this an answered prayer. I just pray Allah blesses me with a man that comes with peace and not rules. Rantandtalkz fam, please advise me. I’m always advising people in the comment section, but now my own matter has come. What do you all think about this?
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