Hi, good evening. My sister was disvirgined and molested for a year plus by an extended family member who took her to stay with them. My sister kept complaining she wanted to leave, but we felt she just wanted the freedom that came with staying in one’s parents’ house. After we asked her if she was being maltreated and she said no, we let her stay. My sister is currently 16 years old. Her aunty is a good woman and kept us updated about my sister. She said my sister started doing a lot of things she didn’t do before, and she felt like she was doing them because she wanted her to send her packing. We told her she could correct her, and if it warranted beating, she could beat her. I wish I had all the time to say everything, but I will try to summarize it. Fast forward to when they told me that my sister had started smoking. She also told me that her husband showed her a video of my sister touching herself. I asked if I could see it for myself, and she redirected me to her husband, saying he was the one who had the video and wouldn’t send it to her. She said I should ask him.
When I did, he said he had deleted them all and asked what I needed the video for. After much persuasion, he sent it to me. I didn’t see her touching herself in that video, but she was naked and using the phone camera to check herself. I asked him if that was all the video because what his wife told me was opposite of what I saw. He said that wasn’t all and that he wasn’t going to send them because if the video leaked, my sister would go through a lot of trauma. I asked him if my sister knew he had seen the video, and he delayed answering but eventually said yes. I asked him how she behaved knowing that he had seen her nakedness. He said that wasn’t the important thing now because she is in her adolescent stage and it is affecting her. I asked him why he still had the video, and he said the phone my sister used in making the video was backed up and anything done there reflected on his phone. He said it was when the phone kept saying “space full” that he decided to go to the trash and saw it. He said he didn’t want his wife to even have the video because she might share it, and that he was trying to protect my sister.
We also spoke about his wife’s decision to take my sister back to the village. He said he suggested to his wife that they change her school to see if it was her friends who were influencing her negatively. I told him that whatever his wife decided, I would be okay with it because my mum had already told us to let her come home since she had complained a lot, but I told my mum she just wanted freedom. We had very long chats. He even said he was scared because if my sister went back to the village and any foolish man touched her, she could get pregnant. His wife decided to take her for a virginity test, which said she was no longer a virgin and that someone had touched her recently. According to his wife, she removed her slippers and swore to my sister on their way back from the hospital that she wouldn’t beat her if she told the truth. She said my sister told her that it was her husband. No one told me about this; we had a meeting to talk later after the videotape she told me about. She stopped picking my calls and replying to my text messages even after reading them. When we connected and I spoke to my sister, I asked her a lot of questions which she replied to.
I am the one who asked her if the man was touching her, and about the video and other things. She replied that about the video, she had no idea of such, that she could see it was her body and all but she didn’t do anything of the sort. About the smoking, she swore to me that she had never smoked, and that she came up with that idea because she knew that would provoke them to take her home. I asked her if her aunty was aware, and she said yes. I then told her to give her aunty the phone. She told me she only found out after we spoke last, and that she was ashamed to speak to me and was grieving. She pleaded with me to let the matter die between us and that I shouldn’t involve my mum, and I disagreed. She said she was doing that because of the husband’s mother, that the woman would die if she heard such. I refused, and she said I shouldn’t tell my mum that night and wait till tomorrow, that she was going to call me for us to talk better. I spoke to the husband that day, but he denied it, but later came to my chats to plead with me that he was the problem and that he didn’t disvirgined my sister, but he slept with her only once because he was drunk.
After so much gibberish, this man is a very plus-sized man and used that weight on my sister. I later told my mum and they manipulated my mum to keep calm about it. He traveled to the village the next day to carry out some traditions for sleeping with a relation. She showed my mum the video and even made her tell me to let the matter die. I swore to never let that happen because my sister told me the full story. It is terrible. He disvirgined her when his wife went to the hospital because of her pregnancy complications and slept over at the hospital. He slept with her twice that night. My sister said he threatened to kee her if she said a word. This continued and my sister kept saying she wanted to go but couldn’t tell us. She left their place to stay with me after some incident occurred. She told me he mol*$ted her two to three times a week for a year plus. She said she told him one day that everyone was going to know, and he told her that as long as his wife doesn’t believe or doesn’t know, he’s okay with it, and even if she knows that everyone is going to say they are all disappointed in him, he will get away with it.
My sister said he also manipulated her with pictures; anytime she didn’t allow him, he would use a knife and scissors to threaten her. She said he was so rough with her, strangled her, and would beat her if she didn’t agree. He even used the scissors to hold her ribs one day and forced himself on her. He held knife and told her to suck his D. She said he would lie against her anytime the wife suspected anything. It didn’t end here. Please and please I need advice on what to do, everyone is telling me to drop this!!!! I even told him my sister needed to be tested, do you know he doesn’t reply to my messages again? Because he feels like my mum, his mum, and his wife knows about it and he has begged them and they have forgiven him!??? I contacted child advocate but I am in lagos and this happened in Anambra. They said nothing can be done unless we are in the same state with the man. Please this man has to pay for everything he did to my sister. What can I do?
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