Hi, thank you very much for this platform. I just want to share my story with people I don’t know. If there’s anything positive or a lesson you can pick from here, then fine. I am not a good storyteller, so manage it and pardon any typo errors. I dated this guy years ago. We were so in love (my thought actually) because we were always together. Everyone in the neighborhood knew us, and there were many more things to prove that we were really in love. I noticed anytime we made out, I always felt bruised and it was so painful. I was ignorant about it; I couldn’t think it was something that would ruin me forever. I remembered telling him I felt bruised every time we made love. He was quite big though, so I thought that was why. I never knew it was herpes virus. This was years ago, and I had never heard of this virus before then. I am not a social media person, if not for recent years when I started seeing posts about it and people creating awareness. Believe me, I never knew what herpes was. This guy broke my heart and left me with this virus that has been tormenting me for years now.
I found out he was just a random fuckboy with sugar mummies and sugar girls sponsoring him. At the time we dated, I found out about the ladies he slept with. I couldn’t even stand where they stood—rich, beautiful women who drove luxury cars. I saw videos of them cruising in their cars. He didn’t own any. He didn’t even have a place to stay aside from his family house. He only squatted with his friends, and that was where I met him. How I found out: anytime we were not together, he hardly answered my calls, unlike him. When we first started, it was all smooth and lovey-dovey. But later, he wouldn’t answer my calls, and when he finally rang me back, he would tell me stories. One day I called him, and a lady picked. Goodness me, I was broken. I could hear them struggling with the phone before the call ended. That was how we broke up. He didn’t call to explain anything. I picked my broken pieces, not knowing I was carrying a virus, and left. After some months of heartbreak, I met another guy. We got talking for some time before he asked me out. I didn’t like him at first, but because I wanted to move on completely from the first guy, I accepted to date this one. He was humble yet rich, and he spoiled me silly. Mind you, my ex wasn’t even rich. I was just an understanding girlfriend. He didn’t do much for me, but he wasn’t stingy either; he gave me when he had. This new guy came into my life, and that was how I was able to move on. I was glad I did, because the ex came back to beg, but thankfully I was already with this one, so I had no reason to go back. It’s a long story. Why I said my life is ruined is because while dating this new guy, I never felt the symptoms I used to feel, especially on my genital area. Not until we broke up too, after years of dating (a peaceful breakup), because of cultural differences, and we couldn’t get married. So I decided to remain single and not date again until I was ready to marry. Then I met another guy. I didn’t like him either, and I told him I couldn’t date him because I wasn’t ready. But we made out, and some days later, I noticed rashes. It was so painful, and some were fluid-filled. I took a picture and sent it to one of my doctor friends. When he opened my message, in his words he said, “Who did this to you?” I started panicking.
He asked if I had experienced this before, and I said yes, ages ago, but I thought it was bruises from sex. He told me, “This is herpes virus.” Meanwhile, I already knew what herpes was. He started counseling me over the phone. You know how doctors encourage you to make you feel better, but my life crumbled. I knew where this thing came from—probably the guy I had a fling with had it, I don’t know. But this is something I have experienced before, so I can’t say I contracted it from this guy. Since then, I have decided to stay single. I avoid people as much as I can because I researched the virus and know how highly contagious it is. Funny enough, some of the outbreak symptoms I used to experience, I thought they were just mere pimples. Sometimes I would feel a lump on my face or a fluid-filled boil, which you can’t differentiate from pimples. My friends give birth, and you will never see me there. I only send my support because I want to avoid contact with the child. Even with adults, I avoid people as much as I can. I have been out of relationships for years now since I found out I have this virus.
I am a lady who is doing well for herself; you can count me among the average Nigerian ladies who can afford the things I want. But then it is nothing. How can I get married with this virus? How can I have children with this virus? I have many men asking me out. I am very beautiful and I have a nice physique, but it’s useless. Rich young guys, some abroad, want me, but I can’t give it a shot because I don’t want to infect anyone. My life is ruined. This virus has left me with a bad stigma. Sometimes I even wish it was HIV, because there are many HIV patients who still live normal lives, get married, and have children. I am writing this with so much tears. Please be careful out there. This virus is highly infectious. You don’t even have to have sex or kiss; body contact too can infect someone. I read a post here where a lady said her man opened up to her about the virus. I wish this guy had told me. I would’ve chosen my struggle. I thought he loved me, I gave him love, but he gave me this virus to live with forever.
Also read: Dealt With My Man’s Obsessed Ex