Today is 2nd June 2025. I am a female and feel like such a fool. I have no one to talk to because I don’t trust anyone anymore. I don’t feel I can share personal information with anyone. I don’t want to get close to anyone. I just want to be on my own. God, I think I’ve developed a phobia toward friendships. Two people I genuinely cared for, loved, and trusted have broken my heart and hurt me deeply. The pain is immense. The last time I felt something close to this was when I lost my dad. I feel so down and low, and I can’t stop crying. They made me look like a crazy person. I’m questioning myself and what I know. I feel delusional. I don’t think I’ll ever be loved. Maybe I don’t deserve it. All my friendships with men feel forced. I just want to be a loner and be at peace. Now I feel everyone wants to harm me. I feel like nobody loves me or wants me. I considered them friends. This betrayal is making me go crazy. God, grant me strength. I can’t handle this. I’m weak and tired of crying. My head hurts. Did they ever like me? Was the friendship ever genuine? Was it all pretense? I know I will never get closure, and I’m better off without it. The more I try, the more pain I feel. I will never know the truth because they lie and make me look crazy. Maybe I’m stupid for letting them into my life. I hate myself. I loved them genuinely. I never wished them harm. Friendship breakups really hurt. I just want to stop crying and be strong, but I don’t know how. My heart aches. I don’t think I’ll ever be the same.
