Hi, I’m looking for advice because I’m really struggling to move on from a 3 yr relationship I just ended. I was in a long-distance relationship (ps he’s not Nigerian) with someone I loved very deeply. I truly believed he was my person and we were planning on getting married. A few weeks ago while I travelled to visit him, I accidentally discovered that he had been cheating with multiple women. When I say multiple I mean multiple, sleeping with different women on different trips. I found conversations, explicit videos, conversations with hundreds of women on various social media platforms, even the ones who never even responded to him, and evidence that he had been seeing other women for a long time, even flying one out earlier this year. The hardest part is that when I confronted him about one woman in particular he told me he wasn’t willing to cut her off. That moment broke something in me. Mind you he never knew I knew everything and even had screenshots.
What makes this even more complicated is that I found out about everything just before he lost his job. I had originally planned to break up immediately but I still cared about him and couldn’t bring myself to leave him while he was already going through something difficult. So I stayed for a few weeks trying to process everything and for him to get back on his feet while pretending I didn’t know the full truth. I finally got back home from my trip, sent him most of the evidence and broke up with him and blocked him everywhere. I didn’t wait for an explanation. But now that it’s over I feel completely broken. It feels unreal, like I lost my favourite person even though I know he hurt me deeply. For anyone who has been through something like this, how do you actually move on from someone you loved this much after discovering betrayal like this? How do you stop missing someone who treated you this way?
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