So, I’ve been having this fear that I won’t be taken care of in old age due to how I’m behaving now. I grew up with my adopted parents. My father died while I was in my mother’s womb, and my mom gave me to my grandmother. When I was 12, my grandma died, so my mom’s elder sister took me in because my mom remarried and didn’t want me to stay with her. My aunty trained me up to university level. I’m doing well for myself as a single lady, and due to this fear of a bad marriage, I’ve not gotten married. In fact, at 33, I don’t even have a boyfriend. I have a good job and own my apartment and car here in Port Harcourt. But here is the issue—my aunt stays in Enugu, and I hardly call her. However, whenever I do, we have good conversations and gist, but once I drop the phone, I can go a week or more without calling her again. She doesn’t call me either. I can’t say why, but I refuse to say anything negative—she is more than amazing. My other cousins (my aunty’s kids) are all doing well, so they send her a lot of money. She still has a school where she earns a little money. I buy things for her from time to time since I can’t send enough money.
The issue is the relationship. I always feel bad about not calling regularly. It’s not just her; in fact, I hardly talk to anyone. I developed complex and self-esteem issues growing up, so most times, I just go to work, come back, watch a movie, and sleep (probably why I’m single). Now, my own mother calls me all of a sudden, complaining that I don’t call her. This is someone that didn’t contribute even a pint of garri to my schooling, so I obviously don’t have a relationship with her. Last December, I wanted to send her money. She asked me to keep it for her until she needed it. Unfortunately, I had a health emergency and used up the money, so I told her I would send it at the month’s end. Since then, she hasn’t called me. I just feel so scared that when I have kids, maybe they won’t check up on me just as I don’t check up on my own (parent)—both my aunt and mother. I’m so scared of it, so much that I’ve started planning how I’ll retire. I don’t even know when I’ll get married, but I’ve started planning in case my kids don’t check up on me. How do I get this fear out of me? And how do I call my aunt more often? It’s not intentional, I promise.
Also Read: My Body is Tired