They said one can make friends online, right? So I tried to give it a shot because I don’t go out, I’m always indoors and all about my business. I met this guy online, and I was the one who messaged him first. I wasn’t looking for a relationship; I just wanted a friend. I’m always indoors, I don’t go out, and I thought it would be nice to have someone to talk to. So I told him straight up that I just wanted friendship, nothing more. He seemed cool with it at first, and we started talking regularly. A few days in, he told me he liked me. I was surprised because I had made my intentions clear from the start. So I asked him, “Aren’t you in a relationship?” He said no. He told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship because his ex was too materialistic, loved clubbing, and didn’t work. He said he broke up with her for those reasons. I told him I wasn’t in a relationship either, but I reminded him that I had messaged him with pure intentions—I wanted friendship, not romance. Despite my boundaries, he kept pushing, insisting that he liked me and wanted more.
He wouldn’t drop the subject, but I still kept talking to him because, at that point, I enjoyed our conversations. Eventually, he suggested we meet up, and I agreed. At first, we planned to meet at a hotel, but I don’t like going to hotels unless it’s for an event, like a wedding with friends. So I told him, “Why not just come to my place instead?” He lived in another state, but I was in Lagos. He agreed and came over. When he arrived, he brought gifts, which was nice. We talked, spent time together, and at some point, we started kissing. But then he started pushing for sex nonstop. All through the night, he kept trying, and I kept saying no. I told him, “I just met you. I can’t do that.” I stood my ground and didn’t let him touch me. The next morning, he got upset and left, driving all the way back to his state. I wasn’t even bothered. I wasn’t going to beg him to stay. I asked him, “Did you come all this way just for sex?” He denied it, but his actions spoke louder than his words. Before he left, when we were lying in bed, he had randomly sent me money without me asking.
That moment made me realize something: did he think sending me money would make me give in, like I was some girl he could buy? That wasn’t me. I wasn’t going to be pressured into anything, no matter what he gave me. When he got back home, I confronted him again. I told him straight up that if he was only here for sex, we needed to stop whatever this was. He insisted that wasn’t the case, and we continued talking. After a few weeks, I realized I had started developing feelings for him. So when he invited me to his place, I agreed. I traveled to his place. That night, the same thing happened—he wouldn’t let me sleep, constantly begging for sex. I refused again. I only kissed him because I liked kissing, but I didn’t let him do anything else. The next morning, he started manipulating me. He kept saying he loved me, doubting my love for him, making me feel guilty. I had been single for over a year after a bad breakup. I hadn’t been with anyone since, and I had been lonely. I didn’t go out, didn’t have many friends, and in that moment of vulnerability, I gave in. After we slept together, everything changed.
When I went back to my place, his behavior shifted. He became distant, giving excuses about being busy. He used to message me every morning, but suddenly he could go a whole day without texting. I noticed it immediately. I asked him what was going on, but he kept saying, “Nothing, I’m just busy.” He was always apologizing, but his actions didn’t match his words. Then one day, I found out the truth. I saw a girl had posted him. They were dating. He had lied to me all along. I felt like a fool. After that, I knew I was done emotionally. I wasn’t going to get attached again. I started billing him for money—not because I needed it, but because I didn’t want to let him walk away so easily after playing me. He always sent the money, but by then I had already made up my mind. I promised myself I wouldn’t trust another guy who told me he loved me. Words mean nothing to me now. Men are cheats and l!ars.