I submitted a story a while back about my breakup, my first breakup that was clean. There’s always something to hate, maybe hate is a big word, but those types are the easiest to get over. I’ve always been the one to leave in all three relationships I’ve had, but this fourth one was the longest and the one I loved the hardest. Just like the others, it ended. In all my relationships, I’ve noticed they say things like you’re too good for me and you deserve better. I know I’m not much yet, but I carry myself well. I’m self-aware and I know what I want. Is being a good girl such a bad thing? I’m open with my emotions, and if I love you, I make sure you never doubt it. I’m also assertive. I’m not a bad person, but I’m not perfect either. Why do they always think I’m too good or too perfect?
This happened in June, and it’s been hard. I have finals coming up, and I can’t focus. My brain is foggy. I’ve tried many things to lighten the ache in my chest, but nothing works. It feels like my stomach is being ripped apart. I don’t want to conclude on assumptions, but it feels like they just love the way I loved them. He was my best friend since I barely have a handful of friends, and now he’s gone. I’ve always been there for people, but just this once I wish I had a friend to be there for me. I don’t want to change who I am, but right now it doesn’t make sense.
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