I met this man just five months ago, and my life hasn’t been the same since. From the very beginning, he was generous: N1.5 million every two weeks. He opened a store for me, bought me a car in the third month, and we’ve been traveling together. He saw what I loved and gave it without me asking. He’s a Muslim man with two wives, in his early 40s. From day one, he has made it known to me that he’d like to marry me—not now, but as time goes by. He said I could live in any state I want, and he will get me a house in my name there. I’ve never been a fan of marriage; I’ve always said I’d rather co-parent with someone sensible than get married. But now I’m conflicted. My mom came from a polygamous family.
I know the dangers, the jealousy, the spiritual warfare. I truly believe that was part of what killed my mother. So while I’m not against polygamy, the trauma makes me hesitant. Otherwise, he treats me very well.My family wouldn’t even be against it, especially my mom’s side; they’re traditional and don’t mind polygamy at all. He has done more for me in five months than most have in years. I know if I ever agree to marry him, I won’t lack anything. I can take care of myself and even support my family, who depend on me in many ways. So here I am, in my early twenties, wondering: Do I accept to be his third wife and embrace the security, freedom, and intention he offers? Or do I walk away? What do you advise?
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