I ended things with my boyfriend of almost two years last night. I’m so hurt because I never thought we would end up not marrying each other. We’ve met each other’s parents and made plans for introduction, proposal, engagement, wedding, and childbirth. For the past few months, we’ve been having a series of arguments—we argue up to 5-6 times a week. He has an anger issue but he’s deflecting; he doesn’t want to accept that fact. I’m also not the calmest person, but I try to always calm myself. Whenever I’m angry, I communicate with him and tell him what he did in a calm voice (I don’t tell him while I’m still angry), but he gets angry anytime I tell him about anything that annoys or hurts me. He gets angrier than me (the victim), and sometimes I won’t be able to keep my calm because I’m the victim. I will start talking, telling him what he did wrong, and explaining how everything happened from the beginning.
Sometimes I beg him and apologize for even bringing it up at all. He tells me to start overlooking things and not talk about what he does that hurts or annoys me. He gets angry way too much, and every time he does, he always blames me for his anger. He’s a good man when it comes to gifting and caring. He can travel a thousand miles to make sure I’m okay. He overreacts whenever he’s angry, says hurtful words to me, and never apologizes after the argument, saying I made him say it. Ordinary me asking him questions about why he went out with a girl (his ex who now works for him) he knows I don’t like. When I asked for his phone to transfer my videos because I don’t have them anymore on my phone (I changed my phone) or going through our chats and realized I didn’t have all of our texts, pictures, voice notes, and videos anymore on my phone,
and asking for his phone to check and send the necessary ones to my phone—these all caused serious problems between us. I’ve been so calm these past few weeks to help him work on his anger, and he’s not even helping at all. I have done my best. I’ve suffered lots of chest pain just because of the relationship. I’m scared of starting over with someone else and going through unnecessary talking stages. This is the first day after the breakup, and it feels like I’m still in a relationship with him. I will be in the comment section to get any advice. P.S. I’m in my mid-twenties.
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