I had a girlfriend about 15 years ago. We were both in love. I had issues with my business, which I didn’t tell her about. Unknowingly to me, I wasn’t paying much attention to her anymore, even though she called me a few times to complain. I ignored it. Kindly note that we were living together (her parents weren’t in the same state at the time). One day, I returned from work and noticed she had moved her bags to another room. I went there and begged her to come back, but she refused, saying it was because of the same complaints she had before. The next day, after I left for work, she moved out to her adopted sister’s place. After two days, I went there to plead with her. I even slept over. She assured me she was coming back the next day, but she never did. A few days later, I was told she was dating someone else, and I was heartbroken. I spoke to her adopted sister and her then-boyfriend, but they told me to move on. I was still in touch with them since they were like demi-gods to her. I didn’t call her directly to confirm if the story was true or not.
For context, I met her through her elder sister’s boyfriend, who is my friend. I swear I loved her with all my heart, and I guess she loved me too. A few months later, they called to tell me she got married to a man who had just returned from abroad. I was heartbroken but had to move on. During all this time, I wasn’t in contact with her. While we were separated, they kept telling me bad things about her. About a year later, I heard she wasn’t happy in her marriage. Out of the love I had for her, I reached out to her on Facebook and asked for her number, which she gave me. We started talking again. She eventually left the marriage, and we got back together for a few days. But at that time, I was already dating someone else who was a thorn in my flesh, so I couldn’t be with the woman I truly loved. I lost her again for the second time. Later on, I left the country, and a few years after that, she got married again. Though we weren’t in contact, when I heard she was getting married, I called and told her not to go through with it but to wait for me.
Now, we’re back in contact, and she told me that her sister and her then-boyfriend (who eventually got married) were the ones who stopped her from coming back to me. She also said the story about her dating another guy was a lie. In reality, they wanted her to date that guy so they could have free drinks and hang out with him, but she didn’t. She only moved on with him after waiting for months without hearing from me. She also told me that while they were painting her in a bad light to me, they were also feeding her lies about me. (For context, she was about 19 years old at the time, and I was 29.) My question is: What should we have done differently? She said I didn’t push enough, that I never called her to ask her directly. Instead, I was calling and begging the same people who pulled us apart. She feels I didn’t fight hard enough for her. I still love her and haven’t gotten over her. Please let your audience tell me—what could I or we have done differently?
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