I don’t know where to start, but please, everyone, pay attention. I need help. I have been married for 5 years, have two kids, and dated my husband for 4 years. Did I see the sign? YES! But I went into the marriage because I loved him. For 9 years, I have not known any other man aside from him. I’m a gorgeous lady with an amazing heart. My husband provides everything I want and need, but he is a chronic cheat. He can’t stay one week without cheating. He has brought girls to our home in another state while I was away. In the state where we are based, he once had a girlfriend who thr€at€ned me spiritually, physically, etc. I have seen my husband take pep drugs (usually taken after being at risk of HIV transmission). I have treated infection twice. I’m now scared for my life. I don’t know if I should say it’s love or I’m stupid, but I need help. He gaslights me into thinking my world will crumble without him.
This man works from home, so he goes out every day by 6 pm or 5 pm and comes home at 2 am, 3 am, 12 am, and I don’t ask him anything. I open the door and give him food if he is hungry. I have never denied this man sex since knowing him. After my first child with CS, I started having sex two weeks later with him, of my own free will though. I’m smart, I contribute a lot to my home. I look after the home well. Anytime I catch him cheating, he will beg for forgiveness, and the cycle continues. Now I feel numb towards him. I don’t want him to touch me, I don’t want to be around him, and yet he still calls me insecure. I have trust issues. I don’t trust him. How do I trust a man I have caught cheating on me more than 50 times in one year? Please, guys, advise me. I’m tired. I’m a graduate of medicine, though not practicing yet. What do I do? Where do I start from? I feel lost. How do I leave? Do all men cheat?
Will the next one cheat? My kids are a priority now. I don’t want to endanger their lives with diseases. I don’t want to be infected or die because of my children. Please, men and women, advise me. I attempted suicide before I had my first child when I found out he had a side chick, rented an apartment for her, furnished, took care of her, and was always with her every day. Like I’m tired. I need help. I’m lost, confused, sad, broken, shattered. How do I start again? Men are not even my issue. How do I become better and move on? My heart loves him, but my head knows it’s time to do something. Please, guys, help me out. I can’t even hurt a fly. All I do is cry, cry, cry. I’m tired of crying. I’m tired of girls. I’m tired of women. This is not what I wanted for myself. Please, I’m screaming for help. Help me, advise me like a friend, sister, anyone.
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