Guys, I’m exhausted. My older sister had three children with a man, and because things were hard, he abandoned them. My mom tried to help with what little she could, but now she’s passed away. Long story short, they moved back to the village on my dad’s side. He’s still alive but has no money. I’ve been in Lagos supporting my younger brother who refuses to help himself. He’s caused me so much stress, and on top of that, I’ve been supporting my sister and her children with school and food, and even helping my dad sometimes. Someone saw my sister’s first boy and decided to take him, which would make things easier for my sister, though I wasn’t happy about it. Imagine, a 10-year-old doing everything, including taking care of a child with special needs. I visit him sometimes, though not regularly, since they live in another state close to Lagos. Whenever I visit, I try to show appreciation to the family by buying food and other things, spending around N30k–N50k. But now, they think I have unlimited money. My sister’s other children, who are older than me, even with families of their own, borrow money and never pay back, but I never give them more than N5k.
Now it’s time for the boy to start school, and they’re pressuring me to pay N100k. I only have enough for the school fees, and someone advised me not to give in to their demands, because they would keep taking advantage. I’m under 25, I don’t have the strength to raise a child on my own, so I didn’t give them more. But they still blamed me, saying it’s my sister’s child. I ignored them. Eventually, the boy was put in school. His mother even begged me, saying she never asked for him to stay with them, and that they lied to her to get a free houseboy and nanny. The last time I visited, the boy was not doing well. I decided I had to take him in, even if I wasn’t ready to raise a child. People said he always talks to himself. I looked him up online, and ChatGPT suggested it could be depression. I wondered how a 10-year-old could have depression. That night, while I was sleeping, he sat on the bed, cross-legged like someone meditating, making clock noises with his fingers toward the open window. It was so scary. Even the woman he was staying with was frightened. Long story short, I brought him to Lagos. He told me he keeps seeing a dead boy his age, asking about his mother.
I took him for deliverance, and he stopped talking to himself. But he has been very difficult since February. He’s stubborn, messy, steals my money, destroys clothes I buy for him, and even has people in the compound threatening me. Every day brings new trouble. I asked his mother for help, but she says he’s too much for her to handle. The worst part is he brought bedbugs into my house. I’ve tried many things, but bedbugs are stubborn. I’ve gotten a new place and want my sister to come to Lagos, find some work, and I can support her monthly. But I’m afraid of bringing bedbugs to my new place. With all her children and my brother living in one room, it could get worse. I need advice. What kind of work can she learn quickly so she can earn enough to feed her children and pay bills in 3–6 months? I’ve talked to someone who installs frontal wigs. I’m tired; I can’t keep going like this. Even my younger brother’s situation is another story, but trust me, I’ve suffered a lot at a young age, and being the breadwinner as a young woman is not easy. I can’t stop helping, but I need solutions for those willing to help themselves. Please help me with ideas.
Also read: Broken Trust