I broke up with my boyfriend for a bunch of reasons that might seem small to some people but to me they were big. The sex wasn’t great. The few times it was, it was only because I directed him but he never remembered for the next time. I have told him multiple times how I felt about the sex and he would promise to switch it up but only once and then forget two days later. Eventually, I got so unbothered that I would lie about being on my period to avoid it or even ask to be celibate, which he agreed to, and I would feel bad about that too. It just felt like a performance and I would catch myself zoning out and thinking about other things while it was happening. On top of that, he never stayed over when I asked because of his parents. I understood at first but then he told me he was going camping with friends overnight, so I suggested he use that excuse to stay at mine but he said he couldn’t lie to his parents. He is 23. That, plus the fact that his parents are very controlling, making him live at home for uni, pushing him into a master’s,
making him travel every December to Nigeria and asking for his money so his dad could do things in the village for a title honestly put me off. His older brother is 27 and still stuck in a similar situation and I couldn’t see myself being comfortable with that long term. The hardest part is that he’s genuinely such a nice and caring person and I wish I could let these things slide. But after more than a year of the same issues, especially with intimacy, I realised I was tired of faking it and keeping quiet. He wants to get back together but I know deep down it’s not going to work. I still have feelings for him but I just don’t want to drag it.
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