As a 21-year-old woman, I’ve been in a three-year relationship with my 22-year-old boyfriend, whom I love deeply. Despite his past mistakes, I chose to forgive him and stay with him. However, trust has become a significant issue for me. My boyfriend has a large social circle, including many female friends, which I was aware of before we started dating. Nevertheless, I decided to be with him. The problem lies with a particular female friend he had before we met.
He had strong feelings for her, but she didn’t reciprocate his interest. Now, she persistently sends him videos and pictures, and he responds to her even when we’re together. One time, she sent him a video and asked if she looked pretty, and he replied, “You always look pretty.” This has led to numerous fights between us, as I feel disrespected and betrayed by his actions. I always complain about his relationship with her, but he keeps reassuring me.
We’re currently not on speaking terms because of him answering her while I was there. We fight because of this girl all the time, and now, because of our fight, our communication is limited to seeing each other’s social media status updates. I’m exhausted and feel that his reassurances of “nothing going on” are dishonest. The situation has made me question the integrity of men in relationships. As a girl who overthinks a lot and needs constant reassurance, I’m struggling to cope with the pain and heartache this relationship has caused me. My stubbornness and his alike have led to multiple breaks in our relationship, but this time, I fear it’s different.
The hurt and betrayal I feel may be too much to overcome. To the guys who have a girlfriend who overthinks a lot, please don’t blame her; she just needs a lot of love and reassurance from you. Seriously, though, be patient, understanding, and supportive. We’re not trying to be difficult; we just need extra care and affection. In this situation, I’m torn between my love for him and the need to protect myself from further heartache. I deserve to be loved and respected, and I’m unsure if this relationship can provide that. I’m taking time to reflect on my worth and what I want for my future.
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