I’m a very reserved girl. I stay alone and I’m mostly indoors. My neighbors (guys) in my lodge have tried all means to get close to me. Most times it’s when I turn on my gen, they’ll come and charge and sometimes request to stay in my room while charging, saying they want to press their phones. I used to allow it because I believed in maintaining a good relationship with your neighbors since they’re the first people you could call for help in case of any emergency. One particular one used to always make jokes about how I’m always indoors, and what I do with my teddy, like indirectly trying to know if I masturbate, which I don’t. One of them asked me out, and even till today, he’s still disturbing me. He has tried everything possible to get with me and was willing to spend as much as I wanted just to get with me, but I have always refused.
I even had to stop accepting gifts from him. I got into a huge fight with him once because of this, and he still hasn’t given up. Then there’s this other one that seemed calm. He’s friends with the one I have been turning down. This one came and was begging me for a relationship, telling me about how he’s been single for a while and how at his age he doesn’t have a girl, how he really wants to date me, how he’s been trying to get to me but didn’t know how. I told him no, that I couldn’t date my neighbor, that it was against my ethics, and that if we dated and we broke up, I’d automatically hate him and wouldn’t want to be uncomfortable where I live. He begged and promised to move out. I insisted he move out first, but he pleaded for time. I was understanding and didn’t want to pressure him. I told him okay, but no s€x until you move out. He said yes, he’s very okay with it, that he’s really serious about us.
I agreed to date him because he’s good-looking and I still liked him a bit. Then we started dating, we had sex in the first week. I was even the one who initiated it. I know I messed up, but I genuinely thought we were going to work out. I had a friend who dated her neighbor, and they’re almost 3 years now. The guy has even graduated and moved out. Two weeks into the relationship, he was already giving me attitude, saying how I stopped people from coming to his room, how he’s lost friends because I said we should be private and I didn’t like how crowded his room always was. The third week, we had a very minor argument, something that shouldn’t even be an argument, and he ghosted me for days, he was literally avoiding me. I begged and begged, but he refused, he insisted we become neutral, and that he wasn’t interested in a relationship again. This same guy that almost knelt down begging me to give him a chance that I won’t regret.
I was begging him so that I’d be the one to break up myself, but he didn’t even flinch. I took his phone, cleared our chats and every evidence of us dating, took my loss, and moved on. I felt used, I felt stupid, although I don’t think anyone knew we dated, but even if he told them, he doesn’t have proof because I totally cut him off and avoided him very well. A few months later, he came to beg me that I was avoiding him and I wasn’t greeting him when I saw him. He knelt and begged me to forgive him. I told him I could never, that I have never regretted anything in my life but I regret him, and that he should just pretend I didn’t exist because I can never forgive him, it seemed as if he used the relationship to have sex with me, the only one time I decided to lower my standards, see how it turned out, but it’s well. I have moved past that. I’m just glad I kept it private, but I really don’t care anymore though.
I can’t kill myself. I only wanted to give love a try. I wasn’t after money or any material thing, I wasn’t just sleeping around. Since then I cut ties with all my neighbors, I don’t care if they see me as mean or rude. I greet them only when I feel like it. I stopped laughing with them, deleted the few I had their contacts, and didn’t give them any chance for any form of friendship anymore, and I’m really enjoying it. I let bygones be bygones and I greet him once in a while. I see how excited he gets the two times I’ve greeted him in months. It’s not a risk I’ll ever take in my life again.
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