I started dating my first love at a very teenage age, and he was very toxic. I loved him so much and spent so much on him, so it took a while for me to get over him. We dated for up to five years, and within the last two years, we had a lot of on-and-off moments. I tried my best to date other guys, but I would end up not liking them and then breaking up, even when they were good to me. So, I met this new good guy last year in October, and I was so happy that finally, I could forget my first love since I’ve found love. I take my time to love because I love hard. I’m obsessed with this new guy, and likewise, he loves me so much. For the first time in my life, I experienced what it feels like to love and be loved back after four relationships.
But the problem now is that I found out recently that he is a Yahoo guy, and that is a big turn-off for me. I just hate the idea of people cheating others to get rich. I’ve been double-minded about the relationship since then, but I love this guy too much and don’t want to let go. I’ve been dating him for four months now, and I’ve never accepted any money from him. He finally sent me some money two days ago to come see him because we are in a long-distance relationship. I sent him an account I don’t use again because I can’t mix Yahoo money with my hard-earned money (I’m a final year medical student, and I also sell stuff. My family is also very okay). I really don’t know how to let go.
I already had something with him, and my body count is now two (him and my first love), and I really don’t want to increase that. I love him so much, but I can’t deal with the fact that he is a Yahoo guy. I’ve tried talking to him about it, but he said I should give him time to set himself up well, and then he can leave the job because he listens to me. I feel like God is angry with me because I don’t connect well in prayer anymore, or it is my mind playing with me. I’m not feeling my spiritual life again, but I don’t know how to let go. What if I don’t get any man to love again the same way my heart was locked for three years with all the nice guys I was meeting?
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