I am a fresh graduate, and I thank God because if not for Him, I wouldn’t be here today. No family, no support, no boyfriend, but God has been good. Should I call myself a sadist because I have never been genuinely happy? Despite being the firstborn, I am more like the tail. My mum loves my siblings more than me because they give her money, and I do give her sometimes too if I have, but it’s not enough. At this point, I don’t know what to do anymore. I will be going for service this month, and I have been begging everybody to help me with things to take to camp. I have not seen it, I have spent all my savings on my clearance. They all turned deaf ears, no one wanted to help me. Or am I jinxed? Did I offend God? I am so exhausted; I have only eaten plantain chips since morning.
As we speak, no one cares; even my siblings look at me with disgust. I have never satisfied them, not even my mum. Where did I go wrong? Everywhere has been so tight; I have lots of debt on my neck. Now, I am going to camp in February, and I don’t even know what is in store for me. I thought I would be celebrated because I am the first graduate in the family, but no, I am having suicidal thoughts because I don’t even know what to do again. I pray God grants me a very good-paying job so I can leave this place and face my life. Even for camp now, nothing to take along. I just hope God comes through for me because I only have hope in Him, only Him. I pray a miracle happens before the 15th. I am tired, please put me in your prayers.
Also Read: Intertribal Relationship