I am 18 years of age, and I find it hard to connect with anybody. I’ve never been lucky with friends; they always mess me up (male and female). I feel like I’ve spent all my teenage years in abject isolation. I don’t go to parties, I don’t have friends, let alone a boyfriend. I’m not schooling yet, and I rarely go out. Anytime I do, people stare at me a lot, so I sometimes think I’m attractive, although many people have told me that, a part of me doesn’t believe it. I don’t even talk to anybody on all my social apps, I just use them to post and cure boredom. Many times, I’ve tried connecting with people my age or at least making friends, but they always prove it’s better to be alone. To be honest, many people are messed up and engage in all sorts of immoralities.
I’m not holier than thou, but I have high moral standards. So, anytime I connect with someone and I see they don’t measure up to my standards, I just drop them off. The few ones I always feel like I can manage do not seem to understand me, they disappear along the line. Many people don’t believe I’m a loner because I’m attractive, and I also have broad knowledge of almost everything. I’ve been used to it, really, but sometimes, I wonder how it feels like to have someone who understands us both and connects on a deep level. Whenever I see people my age having fun and living their best lives, I’m always jealous because I’ve not felt what it’s like to be a fulfilled teen. Although I’m not sad about it anymore, I’ve zoned out from everyone.
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