My life has fallen apart really fast, and I’m losing my mind as each day passes. I am 23 years old this year, and I already feel like a failure. In 2024, I made the decision to sell my car and relocate to Lagos for a better and more stable life, unlike the state where I grew up, where little success is envied and dreams feel too big to accomplish. I’ve always dreamed of moving to Lagos to start life properly, but I kept waiting for the right time and for money to come in, but it never came. Even when it did, I ended up spending it on something else. I was into the streets at that time. Money left as fast as it came in. I’ve always had a dream of pursuing music, hence the reason I felt that relocating to Lagos would be the best decision I could make as a young boy. But I came to realise that life doesn’t happen exactly how you plan it. After all, I am learning every day. I moved to Lagos in 2025, started working out, ate home cooked meals, and honestly, I felt peace, unlike in the slum where I grew up. But things didn’t work out as planned.
Money stopped coming in, I couldn’t push my music without money, and I felt so much pressure. It wasn’t from the bills, but from the fact that I wasn’t doing what I was supposed to do. I struggled so much that I couldn’t afford a subscription at the gym. It wasn’t that I couldn’t really afford it, but I had bills that were more important than the gym. I had a girlfriend who kept encouraging me through all of this, and honestly, she was the only person keeping me sane. Well, she eventually left, and I am okay with that. I can’t hold her back. I’m not selfish at all. Fast forward to the end of 2025, my rent expired, and I had absolutely nowhere to get money from. I received no help from family or friends. I’ve never been the type to ask for financial help, so I just go through everything on my own. My rent expired, and I had to move out of the apartment because the management was on my neck. I packed all the things I had and put them in a warehouse because I couldn’t get money anywhere for a new apartment.
I moved back to my state to stay with my mum for a while until I could find somewhere to go and hustle, just so I could try to get back on my feet. The worst feeling is returning with nothing to a place you left, like the prodigal son in the Bible. Honestly, this period of my life has been the hardest, and I would never wish this on my worst enemy. I’ve been squatting with a friend in Lagos for almost a month now. I cry and pray to God almost every night because I would never have imagined myself being in this kind of situation. I put on a fake smile, trying to hide the fact that my life is a mess right now. “God, if this is a lesson you’re trying to teach me, I’m learning, Lord. Let your will be done, and when it’s time for my redemption, take me higher than my feet could ever wander.” Who am I to question you, Lord? I am nobody. I honestly felt like the kind of life I was living wasn’t meant for me because I’ve had a passion for music since I was a child. I started writing music before I entered secondary school. My dad knew I was talented. He promised to enrol me in a music school in Lagos, but he never did.
It made me stop and think about how my life would have been if I had taken my music career seriously. I grew up around people who had no idea about music. Telling them about my passion for music would have made me a laughing stock, so I hid my talent for so long. I started writing music properly in 2022, and I can boldly say that I am really good. Even during the situations I found myself in, with my messed up head and mind, I still found a way to write good music. Music has been my passion for the longest time, and I feel like that is what I was made for and what I should be doing. I’ve made mistakes in my life, and I can boldly say that I am learning from them every day as I go on. I never had an elder brother and grew up around girls. I never had a father figure around because my dad left when I was nine. My mum only took me to stay with him for a while. It wasn’t long before I had to leave because of how badly I was treated by his new wife. I have always had to bottle things up and keep them to myself, but not today. I’ve been following Rantandtalkz for three years now, and I already see you all as family.
I sincerely hope you can see me as family as well and leave helpful advice and encouraging comments. No matter how hard life gets, I still find a way to remind myself that I am just a boy navigating life without a mentor, a father, or even a brother, unlike some people, and I’ve made mistakes. I recently asked myself, “Is there something I’m really good at? What is that one thing I’ve always had a passion for and know that, with intense learning as I go, I can become the best at?” I realised it’s music. I just need a mentor, studio time, and encouragement. I need to pour my heart out to you all in the only way I know how. It took a lot of courage to finally put my feelings into words, and I feel like a little burden has been lifted off my shoulders. Thank God for Rantandtalkz. I’ll be in the comments, reading and learning at the same time. Thank you.
Also Read: Avoid Bad Advice, Not Every Man is an Ingrate