I’m here to seek advice and encouragement because I feel like I’m losing my mind and my sanity already. My mom and dad have been divorced for over 10 years. My two siblings and I live with my dad. He has many wives, but that’s not even the reason I’m writing. I made a big mistake in 2023. I graduated from the university in 2022, hoping that by 2023 I would have something to start doing. In my home, once you are done with school, you must hustle for yourself. My dad is a very rich man, but he always says his money is his and his children must hustle for their own. Apart from the basic money he gives while schooling, he doesn’t give anything else, but I still thank God because he did what some fathers don’t do at all. I’m not a lazy girl. Any business, just count me in. I love doing business because I like better things. I also have a guy who supports me with what he can. After graduation, I came back home to think about my way forward. I decided to start a branded foodstuff business, so I started doing contributions because if I don’t save, who will help me?
My dad has more than 15 children, so everyone has to hustle for their life. Early 2023, I found out I was pregnant for my guy. The biggest mistake I feel I made was not aborting the pregnancy, but my son is now a blessing to me. When I told him, he said I could keep it because he had plans for both of us and he is a good guy. During the pregnancy, things were not going well for him financially, but I didn’t mind; I kept praying for him. I stayed in my dad’s house so my stepmom could care for me because he lived in another state. My dad insisted that we do an introduction and later get married. We did a small introduction. After I gave birth, I moved to his place because I had nowhere else to go. Things were not easy, but I kept pushing. Fast forward to 2024, I finally got my contribution money and decided to start my business. We had an extra room, so I used it for my branded foodstuff business and also took orders for cooked food. The first month was okay; I made small sales. But as time went on, sales dropped because I stayed very far from town and transport money was too much for customers.
The business started going down. Instead of encouraging me, the man kept borrowing money from my business and saying he would return it. We even used the foodstuff I was selling to cook at home. That’s how everything collapsed—location problem and no support. I borrowed him all my business money until I had nothing left. I kept hoping he would get back on his feet and support me, especially because we planned to move back to Lagos so I could run my business properly, but things only got worse. When my two businesses failed, I had nothing on me, no one to run to. I became jobless, broke, and stuck at home with no income. He started behaving somehow—talking aggressively, attitude changed. He doesn’t touch me and he doesn’t care anymore. He’s now nonchalant and keeps saying if I want to leave, I can leave; he’s not holding me. I have been depressed. I have not left this house more than five times this year. I am always indoors doing nothing. Early this year, I tried to revive one of my businesses—selling soup in litres and food in litres—but again, the location discouraged customers because delivery fees were too high.
I locked up everything: my packaging materials, stickers, sealing machine, everything. I don’t even know what to do anymore. My son is two years old now and I hate that I’m not doing anything with my life. I feel like I’m losing my sanity. I keep praying to God. I have decided to leave. We are not married yet. I want to move back to Lagos with my son, but I don’t have anything. I’ve decided to learn an online skill and get a remote job. I pray that when I finish my training I can start earning something online, then revive my business again because at least I already have my tools and packaging. For now, I don’t have any hope except God. We don’t even talk at home anymore; we are like housemates. I know I’ve tried for over two years. I can’t continue living like this. I’m getting older, but I believe God will come through for me. Thank you so much. I’ll be in the comment section reading advice.
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