I’m not writing this to gain empathy or seek advice, but simply because I want to know if there are other people who have had similar experiences and eventually found the love they deserve. I’ve been a lover girl my entire life—I love love—but I have never gotten the love I want. Money has never been a deciding factor in my relationships because I am fully independent and never cared about a man’s money. In fact, I don’t even know what it feels like to receive money from a boyfriend because my luck always lands me with guys who have no business giving a woman money. As a teenager, my dad provided all my needs, and as an adult, I provide for myself. So, I have always dated with my heart. One of the saddest things I experience is that I get approached a lot for h00kups. I’m naturally curvy and also an active gym girl, so I have a very pronounced shape. I don’t lack toasters, but they always come for the wrong reasons.
I dress cute and clean but never seductively, so I don’t know why they always assume I’m into hookups. Self-love and self-respect are things I have in large quantities, so I don’t condone bad behavior. In November 2023, I prayed to God about this and felt a strong desire to become celibate. I figured that would help me weed out people with the wrong intentions, so I did. Early in 2024, I tried dating, but once I mentioned celibacy, they vanished. So, at some point, I stopped trying and started focusing on myself and God. I spent my entire 2024 single and abstaining. I’m super proud of myself, but it just dawned on me that I might also end 2025 single. I can’t bring myself to start having sex just because I want a partner. I don’t just want a boyfriend—I want real and genuine commitment, which seems impossible in this generation. Has anyone else experienced this and still found their soulmate in the end?
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