My husband and I had been dating since university days, and I never caught him cheating. During our NYSC service, I found out I was pregnant, and I’d been warned severally against ab0rtion. So I told him about it, and he said he’s really scared that he’s not ready. Note: we are both financially okay, maybe not much, but to a certain extent. I am an entrepreneur, and he’s a trader, so he makes more money than I do! Back to the pregnancy thing, I told him it’s no issue, as I’m not even sure I’m also ready to settle down, but I just needed to let him know the situation, and that I’m keeping the baby. So he kept begging me for like a month to terminate the pregnancy, which I refused because I can’t k•|| myself because I’m pregnant. I was 26, so I knew I could do it, as I’ve told my mum about it, and she insisted I also keep the baby. In the long run, he also agreed we keep the baby, and he was doing his duty by checking up on me and providing when it’s needed. So, let’s say we kept on seeing each other as fiancés then.
At some point, my mum and his mum said that both our dads and other family will soon find out about everything, and it won’t make sense if they don’t know my baby. So they decided we should do a few things which I declined. Doing an introduction or whatever means we are taking a step further, which we haven’t both discussed nor agreed on. Well, as time went by, he proposed to me and said we should just get married. During those few months after the proposal thing, I caught him talking to different girls at least three times, if not more. And all he said was he was just catching cruise, lol. So I told him I wasn’t sure I want to settle down with him. Having a baby is one thing, but settling down with a cheater is something I’m not sure I can deal with. He told me he has changed and all, but I said we should give it more time. So I found out he lied about something again, and there was another girl from his service they claimed to be just friends, but later got to know it was more than that. So I decided to cut everything off.
I left him, blocked him everywhere, and left my apartment because I knew he’d come. Well, my mum and his family started calling and all, begging that we should sort it and I should think about my condition. I cried bitterly, but I felt it was better this way; give birth and move on with my life rather than being the wife to a cheating partner. So I didn’t listen to anyone. After a few weeks of getting myself back, I went back to my apartment, and around 4 am the following day, this man was already at my gate shouting my name. I opened the gate for him, and he started begging, saying he knows what he has done wrong and that it’d never happen again. We talked at length, and I told him he’s lost my trust, but he said he’ll make me trust him back because he’s changed. To cut everything short, we got back together, and everything was back to normal. So we went ahead with the introduction and marriage. After I gave birth, everything was going fine for a few months, then he started talking about one girl (he met the girl through his friends), how the girl is dating a big boy and how the guy takes care of her.
I’ve met this girl like three different occasions, and I told my husband I’m not comfortable with her (the way she looks at him, you know, girls’ intuition), and he said it’s nothing and she’s not even his spec. After a while, I noticed he’s always going to these guys’ place (where he met the girl), they went out several times, and he’ll lie to me the girl isn’t there (found out later the girl has always been there). So I called him and told him again to call off whatever friendship going on between him and the girl because I’m not comfortable, and he said okay. Ever since then, I stopped hearing anything about this girl. I tried to search his phone, and I noticed they don’t have each other’s contact. Then I went to IG and saw they’re following each other. I went to his messages on IG and found out the girl is the number one person he talks to, but there was no chat, which means he deleted all their chats. I confronted him, and he said I’m capping, that the girl just followed him and they don’t even talk, so I let it slide. Last week, he went out, and I was trying to ask what he would love to have for lunch.
When I called him, he said he was outside the gate with his friends already, so I didn’t bother to ask. I waited a few mins, and he didn’t come inside, so I decided to just go out and ask him because I was already in the kitchen about to cook something. I was beside the car, and none of them noticed. I found my husband on a video call on IG with this same girl doing lovey-dovey. He was begging the girl not to be mad that he was driving when her calls came in. I just stood there, and when he saw me, he quickly changed the topic, calling her omo looku (daughter of the deceased), I guess her mum died recently. So I left and went back inside, he came in and told me him and his friends were greeting the girl because she lost her mom. Ps: his friends were just in the car when I got there, more like they didn’t want to disturb his call, yet he told me all of them were greeting her. I didn’t say anything up until now, and he’s not feeling bad about it. I’ve been very silent in the house, trying to gather my feelings together. And he posted something on WhatsApp like cheating for men is normal. Please, what’s your advice?
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