I’m 26, in a two-year relationship with a 44-year-old man. He has been separated from his wife for three years. They have three children. When we met, he was honest about what went down and how they’re in the process of divorce, which is still ongoing. He’s a nice man, and he was my first everything. My issue is, sometimes I wonder if he’s financially abu$ive. I have never asked him for anything because I earn a decent amount and have always been hyper-independent. When we first started dating, he was generous to an extent (not as much as I expected). He’s transparent about his income, and we both know he earns at least seven times my monthly income—millions. I didn’t realize early, but gifts from him have reduced so much that in a month, all I could get from him was a meal. Some months back, I stumbled on a spreadsheet where he tracked all he spent on me this year.
I was baffled. He said he was keeping track of his finances. This is someone who gives random people hundreds of dollars. Why not make a spreadsheet of that if indeed you’re keeping track of your finances?Three months ago, I was shopping online, and we picked some clothes together. I told him point-blank, “Babe, buy this for me.” He smiled and didn’t say anything about it anymore. I bought the clothes and wore them for about two months before he randomly sent the money last month with the description “clothing refund.” I have bought a phone and a laptop for myself during this relationship without any contribution from him. This is someone who, because of the age difference, everyone assumes I’m with for the money, and whenever I buy stuff, they just assume he bought it. Apart from this issue, he’s a nice guy, and he’s supportive in other aspects. Please let me know your thoughts.