I think I should get this off my chest. Whatever you do, do yourself a favor—do not marry out of pressure or age. And please screen the person properly before marrying. I know every family has issues and sometimes lives with them. Having a father who seems so difficult to deal with—no moral support, no cheers, no encouragement, doesn’t give room for you to explain yourself, can’t even discuss with his partner, has an abusive mouth, can’t keep secrets, is quick to judge, talks too much, and tells lies—yet you can’t confront him because, in his place, even if an elder lies, you don’t say that an elder lies (culture shock). But he is quick to take advice, either right or wrong, from his peers or outsiders without considering the effect, quick to learn bad habits, and is praised outside for his enormous love, but to his nuclear family, he is Goliath.
It’s safe to say that I would never want to have a partner like my father or my brother because he’s inheriting the habits and exhibiting them gradually. My mom has been moved from one hospital to another due to menopause symptoms and often falls ill, but this man thinks it’s her doing—all because he doesn’t want to spend money. Now we hide/lie about her going to the hospital because if we tell him, we get backlash, and he might keep malice with us. And he’s away from home. Mind you, this woman has even been trying natural and healthy methods just to avoid the hospital, but she gets scared and still seeks medical attention when she’s not okay. But the unkind and nagging partner is making things worse. I will say it over and over again—I will never marry a man like my father and brother in this life. African culture failed me.
Also Read: My Man’s Fantasy and Our Age Difference