My boyfriend and I have been dating since 2022 when he was in his final year in school, and I had just gained admission into my degree using direct entry. When we started dating, I never had it in mind that we could go a long way because he drinks, tints his hair, doesn’t pray, and is also a Yahoo guy, which I am not pleased with or ever imagined myself dating. I wanted to break up with him then, but he didn’t agree, always sending people to beg me, promising that he would stop all the bad things I said he was doing. In 2023, he was done with school, and I asked him what was next. He said he would be going for his NYSC but hadn’t collected his results. I told him to collect them so we could know the next step. Humm! My rants and complaints didn’t change anything—he didn’t do anything about it, just sleeping and eating at home without working. Besides, his mom and dad are separated, and they don’t live in my town, but he had to come back because he was born and schooled here.
After some time, his mom and younger siblings joined him, and they rented a one-room and parlor self-contained apartment to stay together. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with him staying in a place that didn’t even accommodate them properly. He begged me to bear with him until he could rent his own apartment, which I agreed to. I always visited him there, and he would put his mattress in the parlor where we would sit and talk. Although I’m still a virgin and told him I wasn’t ready, which he agreed to, we still romanced once in a while. There was a time we were kissing, and his sister walked in on us. I felt bad, got angry, and told him we didn’t even have privacy. He begged again, and I kept quiet. To cut the story short, after staying in that one-room apartment for over a year, they later moved into a two-bedroom apartment, and he finally had his own room. Since then, my boyfriend hasn’t done any furnishing or even painted the room.
He just left it the way the house owner painted it, with his mattress and bags of clothes on the floor. In 2024, my boyfriend still had nothing going on—he hadn’t even gone for his NYSC. I asked him if he planned to keep sleeping at home without doing anything. Even me, as a lady, I had a shop I was managing while also going to school. He kept promising that he would try and do something, but nothing changed. After so much pressure, he finally went for his NYSC in June last year. After some time, I reasoned with him that we were not getting any younger—he would be 30 this year, and I would be 27. I asked him what plans he had to become financially stable because I hadn’t seen any improvement in the Yahoo work he claimed he was doing. I even suggested he speak to his dad about getting a government job, but my boyfriend said he couldn’t do a job that would pay him ₦50k-₦70k per month. I also asked when he thought we would be getting married, and he said 2027 or 2028.
I can’t wait that long because my family has been on my neck to bring a husband home. But I can’t introduce him to my mom or my family because I don’t even know what to tell them he does for a living. I’m so confused about everything, but he keeps begging me not to leave, saying things will get better. Some time ago, my business wasn’t really moving well. I was sad about it and wanted to move to a new shop in a better location to re-strategize and start over. Fortunately, I got a new shop, started furnishing it, and bought materials I lacked before. I spent almost ₦1 million, yet my boyfriend didn’t support me with even ₦5. He said he was broke and didn’t contribute anything, which broke me down. I started wondering what the essence of being in a relationship was if he couldn’t support me when I needed help. We’ve been together for almost three and a half years, and I’m not even angry about the money. But what worries me is that he can’t boast of anything or have a stable business.
My parents keep pressuring me to bring a husband home, and I keep giving them different excuses. Also, my guy has a small D—just 4 inches—and his sperm is watery. This also got me thinking: if I start having s£x, will he satisfy me with his small D? And will his watery sperm be able to fertilize my egg when I want to get pregnant? He has also borrowed money from me and never paid back. I keep wondering: what if I wait for him, and he doesn’t eventually marry me? Or what if his attitude changes when he starts making money? Will he be able to meet up within a year so we can get married next year? Please advise me.
Also Read: How I Dealt with a Manipulative Ex