I am in pain. I’m somewhere outside Nigeria, and I have a fiancée back in Nigeria. We are supposed to get married soon. Sometime last year, I was talking with my colleague, and somehow we ended up having s£x. We decided to continue because, to me, he was married and had a lot to lose, and I also had a relationship I cherished a lot and didn’t want to lose. Prior to this, I had been in the country for over a year and had sex with no one. The problem is, I started catching feelings for this man, even though I was the one that warned him not to catch feelings at first. I was cooking for him sometimes, and he would come over and eat. I think he knew I liked him.
At a time, I think he caught feelings too because he cared about me so much. He assisted me financially a bit, and we said “I love you” to each other. But all of a sudden, what he was giving wasn’t enough again. I wanted more—not like to marry him, but I just felt he could give more. Since he was the only one I had there, I took the relationship too seriously. My constant need for attention was overwhelming for him. Long story short, I ended things with him because I was constantly hurting myself. I just wanted to be in that little bubble where it was just me, him, and as much love as I could get.
But what he was giving wasn’t enough for me. I’ve never dated a married man before, and I thought it would be easy dating one. I have never felt this kind of pain before in my life. I blocked him and unblocked him, although I didn’t message him. But I’m tempted to. I just want to move on—it’s very, very hard. I just wish he would reach out, but I told him to stay away, and I guess he is staying away. Now I wish I wasn’t in a long-distance relationship because it’s what caused all this rubbish in the first place. I’m emotionally tired. I just wish the pain would go away. I am very, very tired. Please, stay away from married men. 😂
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