I don’t know where to start. The story I’m about to write isn’t even up to an hour old yet. My boyfriend is just hitting 30. He is kind, hardworking, and loves me. He has three siblings: their firstborn is almost 40, if not 45, then there’s a sister who is married, then him, and lastly, his baby sister, who has left her husband’s house for some reasons and has a toddler. His father, unfortunately, suffers from dementia. Please permit me to call my boyfriend “M” throughout the course of this story because I can’t stomach claiming him right now. M built a house for his father the minute he started making money. Currently, his father, brother, and little sister live in that house.
A while back, the elder brother was left in charge of their father’s welfare. He used to steal whatever money was meant for Baba, including his pension and medication money. Sometimes, he wouldn’t bathe him for three days straight. Eventually, the little sister took over Baba’s welfare, and she has been phenomenal. Today, the elder brother left his workplace and went to beat the last-born sister. He beat her so much that she landed in the hospital. She, in turn, had him arrested. Now, M wants to post bail. The police officers are refusing to post bail so soon, which tells me that the injuries the lady sustained are intense.
M has always assured me of his stance on domestic abu$£. I have brought up many discussions, and his stance has always remained the same. I reminded him and put it to him that bailing his brother out so soon means he supports domestic v!0lence. I felt it wasn’t my place to tell him what to do, as I imagine it is tough. So, I only laid out the facts about domestic violence, how he has consistently told me that he would never support such, and how his eagerness to post bail is equal to aiding and abetting abuse. As it is not my place to say, I hinted at him posting bail another day, but not today, since it’s still fresh.
Wednesday was a viable option. But M insisted that his brother would lose his job. I responded that this is the consequence of his actions. I have told M that it is his family matter, and so he holds all the cards, but I am not willing to move on with the relationship if he cannot see his role in all of this. Is there another way to look at it? I would love other perspectives please. My relationship is at stake.
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