I’ve never been anyone’s first choice. When I used to have female friends, I was like an option to them, which took me a while to realize before I finally walked away. A few guy friends I made, starting on a close note, later prioritized other people in their lives—either friends or partners. No matter how close we seem to be, there are things that would make me feel prioritized that they’ll never do. It breaks my heart when I see people my age being prioritized and loved in their friendships. All the friends I’ve made in life go hours or even days without texting, no emotional connection, no eagerness to talk to me.
One friendship I made last year was built on a traumatic event, and it’s been my last. I can’t relate to “I miss you,” “come online,” or “you’re my favorite person” texts. I rarely go on social media anymore because I have no one to talk to. I don’t know if I’m overthinking or if there’s still enough time to find my person. It hurts because I’ve genuinely been the type of friend I want to others.
Also Read: How Do I Move On?