Nna, there was this relationship I entered with this girl I met in a bank. Ahh, Jesus, I no even know how I take end am, but I dey thank God every day. We started from talking in the bank ooo to exchanging contacts. I no know say na me and d£vil pikin exchange phone numbers. Things were going well. I asked her out, she said yes, and voila, we started dating. Very sweet lady—na wetin I think until I invite am come my house one day. We did Netflix and chill that Friday night, and while watching Netflix, my Uchenna mistakenly entered her Chinaza, and we started doing the do. After performing, I enjoyed it, she enjoyed it, and I slept off. I con wake up for midnight to go piss, I no see this woman for my bed. I look con see person sit down on top my chair dey look me, dey smile.
I clean my eyes look well, see say na the banker lady. At 3 a.m., while sleeping, this girl dey awake, seated naked, dey look me, dey smile as I dey sleep. Omo, the kain fear wey hold me that midnight, my heart just dey beat fast. Still smiling, she said, “You look beautiful when you sleep,” then stood up and came to lie down on the bed. I no even know how to ask am why she dey awake by that time. I just fearfully assume say maybe she just wake up now sef, go piss con dey admire me as I dey sleep. Saturday morning, she cooked then left. The next week Friday, she came for another Netflix and chill. We netflixed, and my Uchenna chilled in her Chinaza. At midnight again, as I dey turn, I do mistake open eyes con see this girl sit down on top that same chair dey shine eyes dey look me dey smile. Blood of Jesus!
I stood up quickly, she stood up quietly and said calmly, “You look beautiful when you sleep,” then came to the bed and lie down. Again, I no fit ask am why she dey awake, cos e fit be say she just dey return from meeting, and if I ask mumu question, dem fit lock me for bottle. So, instead make she lock me, I lock up, sleep back dey pray for my mind. The next week Friday, I no call am. Evening reach, she came over. Ahn ahn. She said she wanted to spend the night with me. I no fit say no. Wahala, I no know the kingdom she dey. Meanwhile, I’ve already removed the chair she usually sat on. Make I see where she wan sit down this time around. During Netflix and chill, na her Chinaza find my Uchenna come. I don’t know how, but they located each other, and we performed again. As we dey perform, I hold olive oil bottle for hand.
As we were moving back and forth, I dey stylishly sprinkle anointing oil for her body dey cast and bind. She dey moan, I dey pray. If she do “Mmmmm,” I stylishly call “Jeeessuus.” When we finished, I banished the spirit of sleep from my eye. She sat down on the bed; me sef follow am sit down. She dey look me, I hold anointing oil dey look am. “You don’t feel sleepy this night?” she said. “Not really, I drank coffee,” I replied. Immediately, her smile comot from her face. “You don’t love me anymore, Stephen.” The way she take talk am with voice wey sound like man own, dem no born you well to say yes. I no even know if na question she ask me or she just talk am. “Me?? God forbid ooo, Adaugo. God forbid. My love for you is eternal,” I said fearfully. This girl smiled, leaned closer, con bite me for neck, smiled again, then said, “Love bite.
It’s a mark that shows I love you.” That moment I just dey remember when my mama dey warn me say na woman go kee me, but I no hear. Tears wan comot from my eyes. I just sniff catarrh, then gulped down some anointing oil from the bottle. “Don’t worry, sleep. I want to watch you sleep,” she said again. Heeeiiiii! Omo, I no gree sleep o. We shine eyes like that until daybreak. I’ve never been more happy to hear fowl sound for morning. She left again that morning. Omo, the next Monday, I follow my mama go the Mountain of Fire church wey I dey always dodge from before. I dey go the church every day. On Thursday, I picked up the phone, summoned courage, and told Adaugo it was over. She kept quiet for almost 15 seconds, then said, “Okay.” Just like that? Even fear sef catch me. I con quickly tell am say na prank; I just wanted to see your reaction.
She just laugh, call me “Stephen Stephen,” then cut call. Ahhh! Dem go invite my spirit come their meeting this night. I called her again and assured her it was a prank. She said no problem, then cut call. Friday reach, she did not come. I no call am, she no call me. Hmmm. Saturday, still no call from her. Omo, be like my Pastor prayer don dey work ooo. For the next one week, I did not see her again. No calls, nothing nothing. Nna, the next Sunday, I follow my mama go the same church for Sunday service. I came outside for testimony, and I no fit even talk. I just dey sing: 🎶 Come and see what the Lord has done for me… come and see what the Lord has done for me… 🎶 Church people follow me dey dance, dey whisper say I don finally buy car and build house. Lmao, me wey still poor. Na Adaugo I come thank God for ooo.
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