Guys, please, I want to know if what I feel now is right, and I need your opinion on what to do. I have a friend; we’ve been friends since we were in university. She’s the only one I have ever put in my corner—like, she has literally been my number one. My boyfriend complains most times that I choose her over him. She has been a very good friend to me. Let me go straight to the issue. Something happened to her not too long after we left school that was very serious, but she didn’t tell me. I got to know about it much later, and she doesn’t even know I knew earlier. She told someone else that she didn’t want to tell me, that she would rather tell someone else to help her through that phase, and that she doesn’t trust me enough with that kind of issue. Omo… Guys, since I’ve known her to be my friend, I don’t discuss her issues with outsiders unless she says so herself, like in a discussion.
I don’t even tell my boyfriend things about her or her relationship. Normally, we play around with each other—like, maybe if one of us is in a bad relationship, we’d just say, “You’re such an understanding girlfriend and all.” She says that to me, I say it to her—things like that. I don’t know if you guys understand. We totally laugh it off and don’t joke like that with outsiders present. Even the few times I’ve had issues in my relationship and I told her, if my boyfriend texts her, she talks to him anyhow or acts rude. But if she and her boyfriend have issues, I always make sure to speak to him with respect. We talked about it before, and I understood that’s just her personality. I even forgot about it. We all show love in different ways, I guess. If anything serious were to happen in my life now that needs to stay a secret, I would definitely tell her first, no matter what.
But hearing and seeing that she told someone else that she couldn’t trust me and preferred to confide in an outsider makes me really sad. If anything happens, we don’t judge each other. I don’t discuss her matters outside, and I listen if there’s any issue, offering reasonable solutions, even in serious situations where either of us makes a bad decision. I feel really bad. I’ve thought about this for weeks before putting it here. I can’t see where I’ve gone wrong as a friend. I even started feeling like maybe I should just pull away from the friendship and not put my whole heart into it because I feel really hurt. Please read this rant carefully. I know some people will still find a way to say something derogatory, but even if you feel it was my fault somehow, just explain it kindly, and I will make sure to rectify it. Thank you.
Also Read: He Doesn’t Love Me in My Love Language