I haven’t had sex for 19 years, and I wanted it to remain so until marriage, but I met this guy in school last year, and we instantly connected. We didn’t start dating until May, and before that, we were never intimate, we didn’t even share a hug, and I was okay with it because it was comforting to just have somebody to talk to without any sexual activity involved. Fast forward to July, I gave in and had sex with him.
He disv!rgined me, and I can say I did the same for him because he had never had sex before. I believed he loved me because he was very patient with me, understood me, and was a nice guy, for real. I speak in the past tense because what happened early Saturday morning has left me puzzled. There was a house party to mark the end of the A-level program, and I can say it was fairly decent. My boyfriend and I got a room, and we had sex.
While we were having sex, the thrusting got too intense, and I didn’t feel comfortable anymore. I said, “His name, please remove it.” I said it three times, and it wasn’t until the third time, when I had to raise my voice, that he stopped. I thought he didn’t hear me the first two times, but he did and chose to continue, saying he thought I didn’t mean it. I felt betrayed, and I cried that morning. Later, he apologized, and I believed it was sincere.
I was ready to move past it because it was the first time, and mistakes do happen. But this afternoon, he sent a message saying that next time, if I withdraw consent, I should shift so the penis will come out because the other person may be too into it to stop. I was livid. He’s shifting the blame onto me, making it seem like I’m the one at fault. What do I do? I honestly don’t know how to feel.
Also Read: Sometimes Love Isn’t Enough